Why I Miss the Way Blogging Used To Be

[Source]

Sometimes I can't quite believe I started this blog 4 years ago.  I've shared a lot over that amount of time and even though my rambles are mostly beauty related, I see my blog as much more than a place to share my opinions on cosmetics and make-up...it's become almost like a diary for me.  As silly as it sounds, I often sit and read through my older posts - I find it so interesting to read back and see how much I've changed as a person. Bird's Words has seen me go through so much - starting uni, finishing uni, quitting jobs, beginning new jobs, break-ups, tough times, happy times - I feel like I've been writing this blog through so many different transitions and stages of my life that it's genuinely become part of me and who I am. When I published my first ever post, I never knew just how much of a big part of myself it would become or how many opportunities it would bring me. It became much more than just a beauty blog - it became an outlet and a distraction for me when I was feeling down, yet it also became a place for me to share my personal successes and happiness - it's been a complete joy to write.  For me, my blog is a massive positive and something that I've grown so attached to and proud of during those few years.  I can remember exactly who I was, what I was doing and how I felt even through the shortest blog post about a random lipstick. It's such a nice thing to have and all this time I've been writing, I've been  unknowingly creating this little document containing snippets of my life for the past 4 years. I feel so lucky to have it.

I've always shared the negative with the positive on this blog and although it makes me sad to continue with this post, it's something that's been playing on my mind for weeks and weeks and it seemed silly not to share it - like I'm ignoring a massive elephant in the room. If you've been reading my blog for a long time, then you might have noticed a slight change the past few weeks and I feel as if I should be honest about the way things are -both with myself and my readers.  I guess I just haven't been feeling as motivated as usual to keep up with my schedule - I'm sure we all feel like that from time to time (i stand by the fact that bloggers-block syndrome is real) but this time it feels a lot different. Usually if I've felt a bit de-motivated,  it's been a fleeting moment influenced by working a lot or university deadlines - but this time it's much more than that - it's almost like I'm now at a crossroads in some way where I need to make the decision whether or not to continue doing something I've loved doing for so long, or stop. 

I'll be completely honest and say that at the moment I feel like I'm blogging for bloggings sake. If anybody ever asked me 'when will you stop?' - my answer was always the same - 'I can't see myself ever stopping but the moment when it stops making me happy - i'll call it a day'.  Honestly, I never actually thought there would be a day where I didnt love every second of my little blogging journey - but at the moment I don't enjoy this the way I used to and I'm not entirely sure I'm doing it for fun anymore - it's become more out of habit. Don't get me wrong, once I get into writing a post, I'm reminded why I love being a blogger, but I'd be lying if I said I feel the same as I used to about it.  I've questioned why I'm carrying on despite feeling less than chipper about it and the truth is, it makes me feel so sad to let such a big part of my life go - if you're a blogger you'll understand just how much influence it has over your life and I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to call it quits on something I've loved for so long.  Deep down I don't think I actually want to stop - but there's a couple of things recently that really have completely changed my mindset about blogging and, quite frankly, it's become clear to me that it's impossible for me to overlook these things.  I questioned at first whether or not the way i've been feeling is because of new work commitments and life changes, but almost 3 months later - it's becoming clear as day that it's simply not the case.   The truth is - I'm falling out of love with blogging. There, I've said it.  But I have no doubt in my mind why I've been feeling this way and it's by no means because I've simply gotten 'bored'. 

Blogging is an amazing hobby - you don't realise it when you begin but sooner or later down the line, you're introduced to the whole online community of like-minded beauty enthusiasts that share your interests and it's almost as if a whole new world opens up...your blog becomes much more than somewhere to share an opinion.  You learn new things, discover all sorts you never would have before, open new doors for yourself and what's more - you develop genuine friendships.  Familiar faces pop up in your comments box, a tweet from a favourite blogger or an email from a reader completely makes your day and if you're ever having a bad time - you know that somebody, somewhere will listen. The community spirit surrounding blogging truly has amazed me in the past and I can honestly say there's a select handful of people that I am so glad to have met and spoken to because of blogging...genuine people I've developed a genuine bond with all of which has stemmed from a few words in a comments box - it's amazing.  But as with all things, there's a negative side to it all too.  Everybody always seems to comment on the supportive spirit of blogging - but if you scratch the surface - is it really what everybody makes it out to be? Because I'm not entirely convinced that it is anymore and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only blogger who thinks this way.

There's no doubt that blogging is not what it was a few years ago when I began writing.  It's developed into something way bigger - we now live in a world where people make millions from sitting behind a camera in their bedroom and people have the potential to make good money from their writing.  Don't get me wrong, as a blogger I think that it's fantastic - I'm sure if you're a blogger too you'll know just how much work and time it takes to publish content on a regular basis and I think it's a great thing that people are able to make money from doing something they love and pour so much of their personal time into (let's face it - it can become almost like a second job at times!)  However, I do think it's made blogging a lot more competitive and results focused - it's losing that element of spontaneity as well as slowly taking away the fun, carefree element.  A blog post doesn't stop at scribbling down your opinion anymore - it seems as if it's more about who can take the best photographs,  who has the best layout, who has the most followers or comments and who gets noticed the most...everything seems to be focused around follower numbers and popularity. For some reason, it all seemed much more genuine to me at the beginning. There were no unwritten rules and it all seemed a much more positive, friendly and supportive place to be. I guess i just miss the spontaneous nature of the way things were 3 or 4 years ago...it was much more humble and there were no pressures whatsoever to blog a certain way. You just did what you wanted to do - you created your blog your way, there wasn't so much focus on sharing your entire life via social media and if someone stumbled upon your blog - then great. Everybody who blogged was blogging for the same reason - simply because they wanted to and loved doing it. There was no competition or rivalry whatsoever. Is it just me who sometimes misses the simple days of following a blog via GFC? When Bloglovin' was introduced, everything shifted in my opinion. If a blog didn't have a follow button I simply added it to a bookmark on my computer regardless - now it seems that your blog only gets noticed if you have a full set of social media icons and a bloglovin' button with an impressive number. 

In my opinion it's slowly changed the way blogging used to be.  Without giving this too much context, some of you might be aware that I found myself at the end of some accusations at the beginning of the year - and I have to say, that was without a doubt the turning point for me and I've never really felt the same way about blogging since if I'm being completely upfront and honest.  It was like a switch overnight. Before it all, the thought of stopping never crossed my mind and I was so enthusiastic and motivated with my blog - probably more so than ever. But it's completely altered my thoughts on the blogging world and has made me feel so negative and down about the entire thing and try as I might, I just cannot shift it. Everybody has a negative comment from time to time but this was different.  I just really don't think the same thing would have happened a few years ago and it's a shame that blogging has developed such a side to it. Over the years, I've seen a few bloggers find themselves at the receiving end of criticism for one reason or another - some of them I would have classed as favourite reads of mine. I've watched them completely drop off the scale and quit blogging almost instantly and I find it so sad that a comment or two on a computer screen can have such an effect on someone.  I often wondered why they would stop all because of a few words but I have to say - I completely understand now. When blogging is such a big part of your life, of course it's going to effect you on a personal level when negative things are said.  When your integrity has been questioned also - as mine has - it's extremely difficult to move on and forget...especially when you literally can't do a thing about it (and believe me, I've tried). It's so incredibly frustrating - I can't even begin to put it in to words. I've had people I've always noticed pop up in my comments box completely disappear, I've read things about myself and my blog that simply aren't true in the slightest - in fact, I'm pretty sure I've read posts on the subject - and if you haven't had it happen to you then it's hard to imagine how it feels. You can't not take it personally. You can read a thousand positive comments on your blog but still only remember the negative ones and I'm not going to sit here and pretend it's not bothered me - because it has.  I've actually sat in tears on my boyfriend's sofa telling him about all of this and I've had endless conversations with friends and colleagues and it's just made me think - if this is what blogging has become - is it really worth it? Some might say that's dramatic and it's silly to read so much into a negative response or comment, but I'm just the type of person who doesn't take well to things like this and as a result, I've lost all enthusiasm for something which I used to love overnight. Not everybody on the internet has a thick skin and I think that's important to remember. It really has gotten to me on much more of a personal level than I would have imagined and I completely salute all the 'big' bloggers and Youtubers out there who have to deal with hate, accusations and gossip on a regular basis.  I raise my hat to you. I couldn't do it.  The internet can be a cruel place.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm not entirely sure what the future holds for Bird's Words anymore and that there are reasons why I feel this way...it's not because I've gotten bored, or can't be bothered, or that life has got in the way, or even that i particularly want to stop...and I guess I just wanted to highlight that fact. I still plow through my reading list on my lunch break, I still buy products and 'save' them because I want to photograph them looking all pretty and I still find myself jotting down ideas for posts - the beauty obsessive blogger is still here somewhere - but I'm struggling at the moment to take the plunge and get back to where I was. Of course, if I do decide to take a break then there's no reason why I might not come back or start again in the future once I feel ready - I like to think that I would  - but I hate doing things by halves. I still have a few posts I want to write so I won't drop completely off the face of the earth, I just reckon it might be time to step back, re-evaluate and twiddle my thumbs for a while until I know where I stand with my blog and the bloggosphere in general. 

Anyway, before I ramble on any further, I shall end this post here (I've written an actual book here haven't I?) I have no idea where I've been going with this if I'm completely honest - I reckon I'm writing it more for my own benefit (isn't it funny how blogging can be a form of therapy!?) - I guess I just wanted to be completely honest about the way things are.  Like I said, I've always shared the negative with the positive and I just wanted to let other bloggers out there who maybe feel or have felt this way in the past that you're certainly not alone. I really hope that a little downtime will do me good and I'll be back to my old blogging ways in the near future.  Before I tottle off, I just wanted to say that your support has not gone un-noticed. Honestly. Thankyou so so much to those of you who have carried on reading and commenting - you're the reason I've continued despite feeling less than chirpy about the blogging world and you really have spurred me on... thank you to each and every one of you for making writing my blog such a wonderful experience.

*P.S - I apologise this post was so long - I did try to cut some jibber-jabber out but it made sense for it to just be a completely honest ramble - not planned :)

Lots of love xx

Finding a Job After University // Tips & Advice

Image: Source // Edited 

There's no doubt that finishing uni is both an exciting and rewarding time - but it's also a worrying one.  I always knew it was going to be the beginning of a tough few weeks or months of job-hunting for me but I don't think I was quite prepared for just how much it would take it out of me on an emotional level.  I'm sure we've all had a little moan and a grumble about our jobs from time to time, but honestly - when you're out of work and struggling to find anything to even apply for let alone bagging yourself an interview, you really do realise just how much having a job effects your emotional wellbeing.  I don't think I'll ever take it for granted quite so much again - in the space of a few weeks I was plagued with self-doubt and worry...it sounds dramatic but if you've been there, i'm sure you'll know the feeling. It's so unbelievably frustrating. 

I know it's probably the wrong time to publish this post but if you've graduated earlier last year and are still struggling, hopefully this might help somewhat. Getting my foot on the career ladder was most certainly one of the most stressful things I've ever had to do but I persevered and got there in the end.  I definitely made a few mistakes along the way - i'm by no means i'm saying I regret them because things have turned out exactly how I wanted them to - but I thought it might be of some use to share my experiences and exactly what I learnt along the way. I know it might seem easy to reel off a tonne of tips and advice now that I'm settled in a job, but after trying to help a fellow graduate of mine find a job recently I've spent quite a bit of time reflecting on my own journey and what worked for me... Here's a few things to remember if you're struggling to find work after finishing your degree.

1. Remember that nothing happens in an instant.

Did you know that on average it takes a graduate up to 9 months to get a job in their chosen field?  My tutors warned me it could take this long but I think I just assumed it would be a lot quicker than it was and I simply waved it off thinking 'surely it can't be that hard?'. Well - it is. Reality hit me like a brick in the face as soon as I left and all in all, it took me 5 months to get my foot on the ladder. Admittedly, I could have accepted something much earlier than this but I was a bit of a dare-devil and waited for something perfect to come up. Risky move - but just bare in mind that a job offer is not going to fall into your lap the moment you get that degree.  

2. Strike whilst the iron is hot...

Yes it's slightly daunting and nobody relishes the thought of job-hunting, but to give yourself the best chance possible it's best to start as soon as you can and bite the bullet.  The more you wait around the harder it's going to be - both in terms of your own motivation and also in what employers will think should you ever start applying for jobs in your field. I graduated in July and began job hunting straight after a holiday in August - I had a couple of weeks off to relax and then got straight on the case.  

3. Use social media to your advantage.

I actually got my job via LinkedIn. So many people ignore it and it's such a wasted opportunity if you do.  I made sure i kept it updated on a regular basis and I searched their job pages weekly. My advice is to keep your profile as open as possible - have it set so other professionals can see you when you've viewed theirs.  I got lucky with this - I had prepared a list of companies I'd like to work for and began looking through LinkedIn to find relevant contact names and numbers/emails etc.  A few days later, I had a message from one of the profiles I'd viewed and it turns out they were starting to think about looking for a new graphic designer.  Less than a week later I was sat in the interview and I got offered the job the next day. This was all because I'd done a bit of research, been a little bit nosey and got myself noticed by the relevant person. You never know what's going to happen so get on it and start networking.  I also used Twitter & Facebook to promote myself and my work (i set up professional pages and never used my personal one) - a lot of companies will sometimes turn to social media before they start spending time and money advertising to fill a position.

4. Take every opportunity that comes your way.

Follow up every email or offer of an interview you get - even if you don't feel as if you're too fussed about the job. Apply for placements, apply for temporary work and if you're a fellow creative like me, consider searching for freelance projects to keep you going.  I was kept busy for a good couple of months through placements and freelance work and I'm so glad that I did this - it really did round off my CV and it's attractive to employers if they can see you've kept yourself in the loop whilst you're out of full-time work. 

5. Try and stay positive.

It's hard - and believe me I know how much you seriously want to throttle any person that tells you to 'just stay positive' but it really is true. Do whatever it takes to keep your spirits up - for me, it meant spending one heck of a lot of time around my friends (thanks Fran - I know you'll read this) - I'm not saying I didn't have any teary moments (believe me, there were many of those...) but try not to wallow in the frustration. Every day is a new day and try not to take it too personally if you do get knocked back.  Allow yourself to have a few down days but never let the feeling of disappointment stop you from continuing to try - it also goes without saying but don't go into interviews with a defeatist attitude either.  Postive thoughts - always.

6. Trust your gut instinct but don't be too fussy

I was maybe a little too fussy. Some would say this was my biggest downfall and I most certainly got a few gasps when I told folk I'd turned down job offers - but all in all, I'm glad I stuck to my guns - it was just a risky move to make. I turned down a few opportunities but by doing so, I came out much better off for it - I got an amazing freelance opportunity and ended up getting the job I really wanted for the sake of an extra 3 months or so.  That being said, 3 months is a long time when you're unemployed and there were many times I wished I'd just taken opportunities when they came.  My advice would be to weigh up the pros and cons properly - you've spent 3 or 4 years working towards this and at the end of the day, you need to feel comfortable and happy with whatever it is you decide to do -  you don't want to spend all that time studying and end up in a job you simply don't enjoy but be aware that you might have to take something you're not entirely in love with to begin with. Which brings me on to my next point...

7. Know that your 'dream job' probably doesn't even exist

Oh but wouldn't it be lovely if it did?  I spent far too much time dreaming of my 'perfect' job and was wayyy to narrow in my search in the beginning.  I actually changed my mind about what my 'dream' job would be during my search after going to different interviews, completing placements and discovering more about the industry - so keep in mind that what you think is the right thing for you, might turn out not to be. Widen your search, keep an open mind and don't focus on 'the perfect job'... more often than not, it just doesn't exist and you're only narrowing your own chances by being too focused on having everything 'just so'.

8. Make the job-hunt into a job itself...

I got up early every week day and spent time searching job sites, newspapers and LinkedIn - making notes, crafting CVs and making check lists/plans. I rarely had a day where I did absolutely nothing and I made sure I treated the job-hunt seriously. My career path of choice is notoriously difficult to get into and there were weeks and weeks where there was next to nothing to apply for - but get into a routine, stay ahead and you'll find you uncover a few things to keep you going.  I signed up to all the job sites and agencies there was and I constantly updated my CV and professional networking sites.

9. Tailor your CV and covering letter for each job.

I have an entire folder full of different versions of CV's on my laptop - I always tweaked it for each company. Really study what they're looking for in the job advertisement and take time to research what sort of company they are and what sort of 'personality' or approach to work they have.  I changed certain key words and played up certain skills or attributes for each one.  This also goes for your covering letter.  I made myself a batch of about 4 or 5 templates and edited whichever one I thought was most suitable - I don't think I ever sent out the same covering letter or introductory email twice.   It's easy to forget just how many people are applying for the same job that you're applying for.  The moment you slip into the habit of churning out CVs and covering letters without really putting much thought or 'heart' into it at all is when you're going to lose out.  

10.  The importance of placements...
I'm not sure if this is the same for everybody but in my field of work - having a number of placements on your CV proves to be so valuable and mine provided me with some amazing opportunities such as further paid work.  I built a number of them up over 3 years but if you're struggling to find full-time work, now is a great time to apply for internships and fill some of the gaps in your CV. I'd done a number of internships and placements at creative companies before I finished uni, and not only did this make getting my job a lot easier, but I also had a very good insight into how these companies go about employing staff and I picked up a tonne of good tips and tricks.  Having a few placements under your belt is always good so ask around.

11. Contact companies even if they aren't hiring & get on people's radar...

Like i said, the company I work for weren't advertising for a new designer when I stumbled upon the job - I just got lucky and viewed their profile on the day they were starting to consider hiring a new member of staff.  Ring people, email people, take a few chances and use your initiative.  If you send, say, 50 emails out to companies you might like to work for - even if they aren't advertising - you never know your luck do you? At best, they'll have your name and CV on file should they start looking for someone new in the near future - and your initiative and confidence to introduce yourself will stand you in jolly good stead.   At the end of the day it's the law of averages.  Apply for more jobs, and your chances of getting one are going to be higher. I actually scheduled a meeting with a company who weren't even hiring just to introduce myself and get on their radar.  You never know where things are going to lead.

12. Include your blog on your CV.

OK - so this won't be relevant to everybody but I did find that having my blog helped me to stand out against other graduates when applying for jobs and it certainly helped me get my current one. Bare in mind I'm in the creative industry so things like photography, web layout and branding, as well as 'creative' writing, social media communications, PR and general hobbies are often of an interest to companies within this field. On the whole, it just shows you can be dedicated to something and that you use your spare time creatively and positively (and don't spend the entire time down t' pub...) If you're serious about your blog and it's a personal success for you, don't hide it! It won't get you the job but it will certainly help you to stand out against the competition. 

13. It's not what you know it's who you know

Oh how true this is.  I got a good bit of help/advice from my university tutor and I've kept in touch with them since graduating - it's always good to stay in contact with people who've helped you along the way. If something comes up and they get to know about it - they might give you a heads up. Past graduates are also good to keep in touch with - I stayed good friends with a couple of people who had graduated a year or so before I did and I often dropped them an email or text for some advice on things.

So there we have it, just a few little tips and advice for when it comes to finding work after you finish your degree - I'm aware that some of these points are probably more relevant to my field of work but I'm pretty sure it's a similar story for most.  Trust me when I say I know exactly how you're feeling if you're still struggling to find work but I promise that you'll get there in the end if you persevere... Please don't give up. Just know that the situation you're in will not be forever. Things have a habit of working themselves out...

Have you got any tips for finding a job after finishing university? How long did it take you to find work after you finished your degree?

Reflecting on 2014 & My New Years Resolutions!

Pinch, Punch, First of the month and a very HAPPY 2015 FOLKS! What's New Year without a few resolutions, ey?! I know that not everybody likes the whole 'new year new me' rubbish but I'm all in favour of new beginnings and reflecting upon what you might like to do differently in future - it's the perfect excuse to change things you aren't happy with, wipe the slate clean and think about what it is you want to achieve for the year ahead. 2015 really does mark the start of something new for me - I start my new job on Monday (wish me luck!) which is the perfect new beginning and I cannot wait to start doing something I love for a living - I feel extremely lucky to have such a passion for something and to be able to call it work, and I cannot wait to see what happens over the course of the next 12 months. 3 years ago, I made a decision to change something I wasn't happy with and I feel like I'm finally reaping the rewards - it's blooming' fantastic!

2014 was a pretty successful year when I actually think about it.  I finished my degree, graduated with first class honours and I managed to get a placement at an amazing company I've wanted to work with since forever.  Seriously, that sounds a bit corny but it was a big focus of mine throughout my entire degree and I really wanted to satisfy my curiosity.  Not only that, but I ended up going back later on in the year and created my very own card/wrapping paper range which will be on the shelves of a major retailer in 2015 (for those of you who don't know - i studied graphic design/illustration). Its something I've always wanted to do but I never thought it would actually happen - I've ticked something off of my list that I never thought I'd get the chance to accomplish.  I also came away with some new friends - I was so lucky to live with the most lovely bunch of girls for the entire time and it just made it even more of a positive experience for me. Top that off with an amazing week in London with my uni bunch and it was a spiffing year when it came down to that side of things.  Admittedly, 2014 wasn't the best below the surface. It's amazing how a person can have such an effect on your own wellbeing and a lot of rubbish was bought to the forefront for me.  However, I really don't want to focus on the negative so I'll just flip it into a positive - I can honestly say that I really did learn how strong I really am this year and I'm relieved to say that things seem to be getting better and better.  Like I said, what with my new job - I finally have something new to focus on and I really have learnt so much these past 12 months.  I've learnt a lot of life lessons - some of which I wish I didn't have to learn but like they say - what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!  Here's my new years resolutions for 2015:

// Take more photos & document the little things more //

I realised the other day that I really haven't documented the past couple of years all that well. I used to be such a sucker for taking photographs and although I've taken a fair few, in this day and age where you genuinely question whether things even happened if you haven't taken a picture (thanks Instagram), I actually haven't taken many whatsoever in the grand scheme of things.  I have some holiday photos and that's about yer lot.  I really want to start Instagram-ing in 2015 and just document the little moments more - like random evenings out and meet-ups with old friends.  I feel sad that I didn't take the time over the past 2 years to do that - at the end of 2015, I'd love to make a little photobook up of my year and be able to remember all the little things.

// Concentrate on my career //

I'm so excited to start my new job!  It's something I've wanted to get in to for a very long time and I'd love to see where it goes this year.  I've never been one to do things by halves and I've always been quite career driven - so it's the perfect chance for me to start pouring some energy into work and hopefully setting down some foundations for the next few years ahead.

// Build my savings back up // 

By heck did my savings take a battering this year.  I saved money like a trooper at my last place of work but I ended up having to use a little bit of it this year whilst I was job hunting after finishing uni.  2015 is the year of savings for me - fun! I have a rather ambitious figure in mind but i have no doubt I'll get there if I go about things the right way.  I'd love to get some solid savings back in the bank for 2016 as I have a lot of things I want to do over the course of the next 2 years. 

// Up my blog game & branch out a little...//

Uni really did knock me off course with my blog slightly.  I managed to keep posting but I just wasn't as in-tune with it as I wanted to be.  December saw me fall back in love with blogging and as a result, it's been rewarding to watch my blog start growing again and I'm feeling more motivated than ever.  I'm hoping I manage to keep it up throughout 2015 - and I'd love to start typing up some more life related rambles.  My 'Expectations of a Twenty-Something' post was one of my most popular to date and I really enjoyed writing it. 

// Squats, Squats, Squats //

Oo - typical new years resolution right here! During the summer, I really did concentrate on toning up my body and I kept it up for a good few months. I noticed such a difference and then as soon as the darker nights started rolling in I let it slide.  I'm not going to totally kid myself and promise to join a gym - because I know the chances of that are pretty slim - however, I would like to get back into home exercise. It's amazing how much better I felt both physically and mentally - and I felt the happiest I've ever felt with my body. In 2015 I'd love to get back on the health kick!

// Stop trying to force things to happen //

I'm often guilty of trying to force things or rush things that I believe to be the right thing for me.  This year,  I've spent way too much time worrying over every little thing - trying to control every single aspect of my life and I think that in 2015, I just need to let things be and stop worrying.  Everything turned out just fine this year and wish I'd spent less time worrying and more time just enjoying situations for what they were. 'What is meant for you will not pass you by...'

// Make more plans - because I finally can!! //

My university days are over and although they were some of the best days of my life, I have to admit I'm so relieved to be earning money again and I'll be glad to have some routine back.  This year, I really want to make some more plans with friends and family - I'm going to make an effort to do more fun things, be a little more spontaneous and just enjoy whatever time I have off.  I'm thinking days out, weekends away and maybe a holiday or two. I just feel as if i'm finally able to really grab life by the horns and do whatever it is I want to do with my spare time.

So there we have it - some new year's resolutions.  On the whole, 2015 is about laying down the foundations for the next few years of my life.  It's always good to have a plan - and I have to say I'm quite proud of myself for always being one step ahead - I'm constantly thinking about what I want to achieve and where I see myself in the future - it's served me well so far and I've never been the type to sit back and rest on my laurels. But more than anything, my main aim is to just be happy and healthy  - to me, that's more important than anything. The past 2 years have been very hit and miss for me but I have to say I finally feel like things really are turning out for the better. I cannot wait to see what this new year holds! New year, new job and a brand new beginning! Here's to 2015 fellow bloggers and Bird's Words readers *raises imaginary champagne glass* - I hope you have a good one!

What are your 2015 resolutions? Let me know if you've done a similar post!

Merry Christmas! | My New Job & Festive Chit-Chat

So then, hands up...who's broken the rule of Christmas and prematurely delved in to the Roses tin? I have no shame in admitting that I'm currently typing away nibbling on what I'm sure will be the first of many golden barrels and I feel absolutely no guilt whatsoever.  I suspect it won't be long until I give in to the Matchmakers temptation either.  Food aside, I wasn't planning on a 'chatty' Christmas post this year but spur of the moment seems to have grabbed me.  Personally, I always enjoy writing posts like these - I can just ramble on without any planning whatsoever and it's always nice to look back through my archives and remember where I was and what was going on in my life when I typed certain posts. Is anyone else like that? Isn't it funny how your blog becomes a diary without you even realising it? 

I must admit I haven't felt particularly festive this year - this isn't like me whatsoever as I'm usually the first person to adorn a santa hat and get everybody singing festive crap (if any of my old uni lot are reading this I'm sure they'll vouch for the festive singing...) There's been a couple of things that put a bit of a lid on it all at the beginning of the month and even though I've tried my very hardest to keep my Christmas spirits up (which has involved many a trip to Costa and aimless walks around the Christmas market) I must admit it's been a struggle this year.  As well as a few personal things, I also found myself without a job at quite possibly the worst time of year to be out of work.  I'm lucky in the sense that I've had some trusty savings to fall back on and I've still been able to treat friends and family to a certain extent - but if you've been in a similar position to me on the run up to Christmas you'll know exactly what I mean... you end up feeling a little bit left out of it all.  The worry completely takes over the festive spirit and all you can think about is 'what on earth am i going to do when this is all over?'... you realise just how much having a job contributes to your overall happiness and it's exaggerated even more at this time of year.

However, it seems as if the Christmas fairies decided that it was time something good came my way - because after months and months of worry I'm so chuffed to say that I NOW HAVE A NEW JOB!  I kid you not, it was the best Christmas present ever and it meant so much to me (so much so that if anybody saw me in the city centre yesterday they probably felt a little bit sorry for me - because I actually cried. In public)  It was just a complete mix of happiness and relief and I couldn't have wished for anything better.  Honestly - if I could have made a list of everything I wanted my new job to offer - this one ticked it all.  It's a little further out of the way than expected but as I'm not the most confident driver in the world, I took it as a positive as it will mean I'm using my car a great deal more.  I've promised myself I'll treat myself to a new Beth-mobile if all goes well and I get over my little driving hurdle... We shall see!

In the meantime, I can't wait to read everybody's Christmas themed posts - I'm pretty sure I'll be adding to my wish list very soon and of course, there's all the '2o14 Favourites' to come! I'll certainly be treating myself to a few new bits and bobs in January as a little pat on the back to myself for getting to where I wanted to be before the new year - i didn't expect everything to fall in to place so close to Christmas! I've spent the morning taking photographs all ready for my 'best of 2014' posts and I've been putting together some new year themed rambles (as cliche as they are, who doesn't make a new years resolution or two?!) - so keep your eyes peeled for those. Until then, I wish you all a very MERRY CHRISTMAS - i hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow and the old bearded chappy brings you lots of lovely things. 

Lots of love, Beth xox

15 Things Every Girl Who's Tried Online Dating Will Understand...

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As a single girl, I have no shame in admitting I've given in to the curiosity surrounding online dating on a couple of occasions. Admittedly, it's usually after a couple of beverages and a chat with a select few of my more pushy friends who've told me how much of a fabulous idea it would be and how I need to expand my horizons. Thanks girls! There's no doubt it's a great idea in theory - technology means it's easier to connect with people these days and what a great way of summing someone up before you actually have to meet them in person, right? I have to say I'm not entirely convinced. I'm sure if you've been there, done that and dipped your toe into the world of online dating you'll find a few of the following points ring true. Or then again you might not.  I'm well aware that there are success stories and I'm not for a second saying it's impossible - but you can't help but have a little giggle about it at times can you? It goes without saying, please take this post with a pinch of salt - I'm not by any means a party pooper or saying it's all negative - it's often a bit of fun after all - but there's just a few things I've noticed about the world of online dating... and I'm pretty sure a few of your reading will have noticed it too...

1. Anybody with your ex's name will be a no-go.

Isn't it funny how you associate the names of people you used to know with the people that you meet in future? Even if it's a fleeting thought, you can't help but question whether or not you really could date somebody with the same name ever again... 

2. You'll receive messages you can't decipher for sh*t.

Yes. It's true. Sadly, some people over the age of 25 still speak as if they're knocking words out on a 3310.   

3. The inevitable tiger picture.

Oh this really is a thing.  If ever there was online dating bingo, spotting somebody with a photograph of themselves cuddled up to tiger is a complete doddle to tick off and you'll have a full house in no time.  If they've been travelling, this is the photograph of the moment to use. Extra points if they're feeding it with a bottle...

4. Even if you aren't shallow, you'll question whether or not you are...

In a situation where you cannot help but go by face value, you realise you're no better than Shallow Hal (before he gets hypnotised...) Everything is so face value and it's no match for meeting people in a real situation.  Everybody looks better in a selfie too... just sayin'

5. Sleeeeeeze.

Buckets of it. Sleeze everywhere. You can't avoid it.

6. Because no good love story starts with 'we met on Tinder'...

I'm by no means saying love can't blossom in places like this (and I'm well aware there's probably somebody reading this about to correct me in the comments) - but on the whole, in general, I have never heard of anything that fantastic coming from this app.  Not from the girl's perspective anyway... Funny that... 

7. You have repetitive strain injury from constantly swiping left..

You end up swiping right on any randomer just for a bit of a change.

8. The 'ice breaker' jokes that aren't even funny.

Jokes are lost on me anyway but over a message screen? Your chances are limited my friend.  They all suggest a similar thing - and whilst I'm all for an innuendo or too - the majority aren't even that funny really. Jog on - you little comedian you!

9. You can't help but admit it's entertaining.

If anything, it passes a bit of time, doesn't it? It's mind-numbing yet oddly interesting at the same time. I've sat there whilst my friends have been sifting through giving my two pennies worth. I'm sure all girls do this, right?! It's a right hoot! Rest assured if you decide to speak to someone, at least one friend has given it the go ahead first... 

10. Your catfish radar is second to none...

If, like me, your ultimate guilty pleasure is watching Catfish repeats on MTV - then I'm sure your catfish radar is well and truly switched on. Nev and Max ain't got nothing on you!

11. ...As is your 'player' radar.

If you haven't got one of these you're stuffed... Unless that's what you're after! If so - take your pick. Spoilt. For. Choice.

12.  The inevitable guilt-trip message...

At some stage you will get a 'i guess i'm not good enough then...lol' message (and there's always an lol in there somewhere just to lighten the mood slightly...) - this happens if you haven't replied or haven't reciprocated any interest. Well SMITE ME DOWN dating gods for I'm clearly such a meanie!

13. People using animals or inanimate objects as their profile image.

Because first impressions count for everything! OO yes I really would like to date this ring-tailed lemur! (No joke - wish I'd taken a screenshot...) The boy-racer type is also common. You know the ones. They clearly haven't changed since their teenage years and their boxy little pride and joy is set as the first image you see. What even are you? A transformer?

14. You become slightly paranoid you'll be spotted in the street...

'Hey you're that girl I spoke to on Tinder last week right?!' errrrr...no?

14. You'll also see many people you know...

'Ohhh I didn't know such-and-such was single?!' That's because they're not. Sadly, certain apps have made it rather easy for the cheating slime-balls of the world to have their cake and eat it. 

15.  You lose all faith in the male species and place an order for 50 cats immediately...

Either you lose all faith in said species or you simply lose all hope of ever fancying anybody ever again. Unless you really do want to date the ring-tailed lemur or the transformer, your choices are somewhat extremely limited. Cue the typical 'I'll always be single' moment along with a tonne of cat lady jokes from your friends. Absolutely effing hilarious. Might as well start early though, right?

And with that, I think I've satisfied my curiosity for the world of online dating...

*places order for 50 cats*

The Expectations of Being 'A Twenty-Something'

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Expectations.  To a certain extent it's good to have them but more often than not, they can be the cause for all matter of disappointments.  When you're younger, you begin to conjure up this image of your life and how it will be when you're 'all grown up'.  You dream of the day when you finally have your shit together (pardon my mild french...) - a nice little place to live,  that 'grown up' career you always dreamed of, a potential somebody to settle down with and, if you're lucky, your own pet cat as the cherry on the top of the cake (or any other pet for that matter - but for the record I've always been a cat lover...) Before you know it, you really are a twenty-something and you realise that you totally haven't got your shit together. At all. Not even close.  At 24, I can't say I'm exactly running out of time can I? But I'd be telling porkies if I told you that I haven't got some sort of idea in my mind of the 'ideals' - the ideal age I'd like to settle down, the ideal age I'd like to have my career sorted - you get the jist - I can't help but notice that a handful of these 'ideals' I've set for myself have either already passed, or are edging closer. I haven't got my career sorted (I've only just left university). I haven't got my own place. I'm still fishing in the singles pond and, you guessed it, I haven't got that pet cat either.

It's only now that I'm beginning to realise that having expectations like these can be the cause of so much uncertainty and unhappiness.  Of course, you've got to have dreams and goals and ambitions but I think, sometimes, we get carried away thinking about what it is we're supposed to be doing rather than just letting things happen naturally - we resist going with the flow, put a time-limit on everything and feel pressurised into being 'perfect'. As I'm currently job-hunting, I've toyed with the possibility of moving away from my home town. Although that excites me, I must admit it's something that doesn't exactly match up with those expectations I once had. Whether I end up doing it or not is another question - it depends on what job I decide to take - but I always thought that if I was going to move away, I'd be doing it with somebody and that I'd have someone to share the excitement with.  I had this image in my head of moving somewhere with a long-term boyfriend, just like so many of my friends have done - but it just hasn't panned out that way for me and sometimes I can't help but feel a bit disheartened about the fact that it won't be how I'd always imagined it to be.  I definitely think that this is where social media can filter into things. My news feed is full of people buying their first house, getting engaged, having babies, gaining promotions and generally just sharing their successes and happiness.  I'm not saying I haven't had my own and of course I'm always chuffed to bits for my friends, but it can be overwhelming when you realise you've almost hit your mid-twenties and aren't even remotely close to having any of these things. Whether you mean to or not, it's very easy to fall in to the trap of comparing your 20-something life to the array of other 20-somethings out there and life can sometimes feel like a competition of who's doing it best and who got there first.

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Which begs the question, what is the rush?  Why do I actually feel rushed in to having all of these things at the age of 24 and why on earth do I feel like I'm running out of time?! When you step back and take a look at things, you realise that there really isn't a set of rules and your twenties (as corny as it sounds) are all about finding yourself, discovering what you want from life, taking steps towards your future and making a few mistakes along the way (and I've made my fair share...) There's no right or wrong way to do things. I have friends my age who still go out and knock back cheap shots every single weekend - good for them - I also have friends my age who are buying houses, planning weddings and having children - that's jolly good too. I'm just floating around somewhere in the middle of all of that - but it just goes to show how having these expectations when we're in our twenties is completely and utterly pointless - there's no unwritten rule that we absolutely have to have everything sorted before we hit 25 - there's no tick-list - so why do I, and so many other people I know, feel so much pressure to have everything in place when in reality, we should just be enjoying things for what they are? 

There's no doubt that being in your twenties can be a little daunting at times. I'm currently job-hunting after finishing my degree (I chose to go to university ever so slightly later than the usual) and can't help but feel I'm a few years behind some of my friends who are all settled in jobs/relationships and are well away climbing up the career ladder - but you know what? That's ok. I have no doubt that it was the right way to go about things for me, and I like to think I've spent time exploring my options, deciding what's best and piecing things together slowly instead of jumping head-first in to something that isn't going to make me happy in the long-term. I've been reminding myself that this little awkward stage in my life isn't going to last forever and that sometimes, it does you good to have some time to re-evaluate and fathom out the next steps you need to take in order to get where you want to be.

Despite all the pressure, you have to remind yourself that it's okay to feel lost now and again.  It's normal to question whether or not you're going in the right direction and it's ok to have absolutely no idea what it is you want to do next. That's the beauty of being in your twenties - there's no better time to make mistakes or change your mind, to feel completely at a loss or feel as if you're back at 'square one'...  Instead of allowing these silly expectations of what you should have achieved/should be doing at a certain age get under your skin, I think it's important to focus on what's right for you. Maybe you've just finished your degree, maybe you've just quit your job and decided on a whim you want to go down a completely new path, maybe you've just come out of a long-term relationship and feel completely daunted at the prospect of learning to be completely by yourself again - just because you're a little bit 'up in the air' doesn't mean that you haven't already accomplished something or made a positive step in the right direction. I think what I'm trying to say is that sometimes it's important to just step back, realise things for what they are and relax a little. Just because things aren't going the way you planned or hoped doesn't mean that things aren't falling in to place, and just because some people appear to be a little further ahead in this supposed twenty-something-race compared to you, doesn't mean they actually are. If you've been feeling this way lately, i think it's a good thing to remember that you're not alone.  Rest assured that there's other 20-somethings out there who feel exactly the same way as you. Remind yourself that there's no rush, no 'race' and no time-limit when it comes to achieving your goals and ambitions and focus on staying happy and true to yourself - and above all have faith that eventually, things will turn out exactly the way you'd hoped.

'Don't compare your chapter on to somebody else's chapter 20...'

Just a Few Little Changes...

Sooo... there's an elephant in the room... Yes, the more observant amongst you may have noticed that Bird's Words has indeed had a bit of a makeover - and let me tell you - it was waaay overdue. I thought the ol' bloggles deserved a little bit of a sprucin' up for it's 3rd birthday this year (the even-more-observant amongst you may have noticed I said '4th birthday' earlier in the week. somebody can't count - just call me Joey Essex...) I started this blog when I was 21 and about to embark upon my first year of university. I had cobbled together the original layout with a quick google session and the scraps of design knowledge I had - it was alright, but skip forward a couple of years and I think it's fair to say that the old design was getting a bit stale - I'd started to feel as if my blog had out-grown its design and it really did need a bit of life breathing back in to it. I just wasn't feeling inspired by my blog anymore - my photography was starting to clash with the overload of pink, the sidebar was looking a bit of a tip, and I just didn't think that my blog reflected the person I am now at 24. It needed a serious update...

So here it is! I still want to make a few tweaks but isn't it amazing what a little re-jigging can do?! When you aren't happy with your layout, it really does effect your desire to post. I had to completely pull everything back to basics and build it from scratch - an empty little Bird's Words shell (terrifying considering I hadn't saved the old design beforehand - schoolboy error - so as soon as I restored it to default settings I passed a point of no return) - but now that I've finished university, I've finally found myself with a bit of spare time to concentrate on things like this.  It seemed like the perfect time to have an update. I don't feel like I'm the same person that I was 3 years ago - or even a few months ago for that matter - so I guess whilst I'm taking my next step in life and making a few changes, it seemed appropriate that Bird's Words did too!  

Apologies for this pointless post - I've been rather busy updating my portfolio this week along with getting my laptop fit n' healthy again after it conked out the day before a presentation last week (always happens at the worst times doesn't it!?) so I haven't had time to schedule anything. But I'll be back with a bang shortly...

Life Lately | 'What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid?'

OOoo hold on to yer hats...Beth's getting motivational.  If you follow me on Twitter, or if you actually manage to get to the end of some of my blog ramblings (massive pat on the back to you there if you read through all of my dribble and live to tell the tale), then you might know that I'm currently going through a little 'stage' in my life. Everything seems to be changing rather quickly, opportunities I never thought I'd have are suddenly popping up left, right and centre and when I look back at how my life was 3 years ago, it's easy to feel quite overwhelmed. Anyone who knows me personally will know I'm the biggest home-bird ever. I like routine. I like to know what's going to happen and what's around the corner. I like to have my friends and family around me and I like familiarity...  I will hold my hands up and admit that I hate change. As someone who also has always suffered from panic attacks now and again (since the age of 5), it's no surprise that I have a tendency to stick to what I know. I'm quite a confident little person, really... I'm ambitious, bubbly and I enjoy seeing how far I can push myself so it's always seemed to me that my fear of change and unfamiliarity is a bit of an annoying hurdle I often find myself having to overcome. Sometimes I hate the fact that I'm so set in my ways and so homebird-ish for the simple fact it holds me back.  However, after one heck of a lot of thinking and actually taking steps to change this for good, my mind-set has completely shifted in the space of a few months.  I've totally started to embrace the idea that 'the world is my oyster'...I've accepted challenges and opportunities that I probably wouldn't have thought twice about in the past, all because I've been asking myself one question, 'What would you do if you weren't afraid?'

When it comes to making decisions, I'm often guilty of feeling drawn towards the path I feel more comfortable with as opposed to the one that's a little more adventurous. I envy those that can just grab the steering wheel and do a complete life 'u-turn' without so much of a check in their rear-view mirror!  But the past few months, I've forced myself to avoid the easy options. When one of my tutors suggested I look for jobs in the US, I almost spat my 50p-vending-machine tea in her face. After realising that she wasn't at all joking, and the more she spoke to me about why it would suit me, I started to think 'why the hell not?!'  I'd instantly written it off in my mind for the simple fact it didn't fit within my comfort zone and that's when I started to make some changes. It was the last little step in my university journey - to realise that I actually had potential to go beyond what I'd always imagined and what I'd already achieved. I'd always pictured myself finding a job within a few miles of home, settling in to my own place a few minutes from where I'd grown up and I struggled to genuinely consider other options.  After realising that the only things holding me back were fear and doubt, I started to branch out and open my eyes to what the future really could be.  If you're currently nodding along thinking 'that sounds like me' - then hopefully this post might become a little stepping stone towards changing your mind-set too.

Fear and doubt are pesky little things, aren't they? I'm guilty of thinking 'I can't do that because...' or 'What if this happens and it all goes wrong?' or 'What if things don't turn out the way I want them to?' (typical worrier asking 'what if' all the time!) I've really been trying to change my thought process with this sort of thing. As soon as the doubt creeps in, I try and shut it up with other thoughts...such as 'but it might turn out this way...' or 'so what if I fail?'. Because SO WHAT!? Even if you do completely mess up or fail at something, it's all experience to learn from. You just have to look at it in the right way - you'll know what you can maybe do differently for next time, or you'll know that something definitely isn't for you. As someone who's a bit of a perfectionist, I know exactly how it feels to be scared to fail at something... I almost feel as if I'm undoing all the good work I've done so far and I thrive off success but as the old saying goes... 'You'll never know if you never try'. You need to make mistakes and do things you don't want to do in order to grow as a person and I've been doing all of this without realising for the past 5 or 6 years of my life - i just needed to apply it to bigger things.  Of course, I'm not suggesting you simply jump right in to making a big life change or important decision without so much as a 'YOLO' (yep - I went there...) - that would be a little silly. I just think it's important not to over-think and rule something out simply because the thought of it scares you.  The moment I over-think things is the moment I'll back out so I'm trying to make sure I don't give myself chance to do so - and it's working. I'm being a little more laidback about things and making a concious effort not to over-analyse.   I actually came across a really good quote the other day. I can't for the life of me find it now but it went something along the lines of this: It's always best to think 'I can't believe I did that' instead of 'I wish I'd done that'. 

Throughout my time in work and at uni, I've realised that visualising the way you want things to be works wonders.  A positive mind-set is key to success.  I could write a whole separate post on this technique but it's something I've been doing for years and it has never failed me so far.  For example, there was a really important presentation for a live-brief I'd been doing at uni and I really wanted to win the pitch (call me competitive but I knew i wouldn't sleep that night if I didn't...)  I imagined exactly how I wanted the pitch to go - how I'd walk in, how I'd introduce myself, what I'd say, how I'd say it, and even how they'd react. I even imagined the 'Q&A' sesh afterwards and came up with a few quirky little answers to questions I didn't even know I'd get asked - and went in there with all of this fresh in my mind.  I ended up winning the pitch, bagging myself an internship and I've treated presentations and interviews this way ever since.  I truly believe that visualising something going well effects the outcome - again, another quote, 'Whether you think you can or you can't - you're absolutely right'.  I've taken this way of thinking and applied it to bigger things in my life.  Instead of thinking that I'd be an emotional wreck if I moved away from my home town and that I wouldn't be happy somewhere completely new, I've been imagining myself doing all of these new, scary things and succeeding at doing them. I've thought about what car I might buy next, who I might meet, what my office might look like, how I'd decorate the lounge when I move... you get the idea! I've tried to get myself excited about possible big changes instead of focusing on what might go wrong.  The only thing that's been holding me back is those silly little thoughts that I wouldn't be able to cope. That's the thing about thoughts - you get so used to having them that you begin to genuinely believe what they're telling you. It takes a bit of time and a few baby-steps to turn it around, but it's possible to get there.  Of course, I'm not saying that because I've visualised it all going swimmingly well that absolutely nothing will go wrong or that I'll 100% love it if I end up moving - but positive thinking is the first step to doing things outside of your comfort zone and it gives you the boost you need to actually give things a go. Again, back to the title of this post - you have to ask yourself 'what would I do if I weren't afraid?'

So it's all well and good saying that you're going to attempt to change things, but actually changing things is another story.  Personally, for me, it's all about keeping an open mind in order to spread my wings and find the job that I feel is right for me.  This post isn't me announcing that I'm hopping on a jet plane to the other side of the world  - so please don't ridicule me if I don't end up moving miles away ;) I might end up staying close to home if it's for the right job. My ultimate goal has always been to be happy, healthy, and living the life I've been imagining since I quit my job and started Uni 3 years ago. Whether that means staying where I am or moving away half way across the world to achieve this - Who knows - that's the beauty of it.  I don't know what's going to happen but for once in my life I'm actually considering other options, seeking things further afield and lifting that barrier I've always had in my head - that's exactly what I wanted to achieve when I started this whole process. I was approached by a company in Switzerland a few weeks back and immediately applied - whereas before, I'd have written it straight off without a second thought, I actually went for it.  I still don't know where I am in the application process but simply just applying was a step in the right direction for me. I've spoken to companies dotted around the UK... some in Europe... I even made steps to connect with a few over in the US.  I finally feel as if I've addressed that last little niggle that's been holding me back for years and after a lot of self-motivation and a bit of a reality-check, I'm excited to see what the future holds. I have no idea what's going to happen, and that's fine with me. It's good to feel a little bit 'thrown in at the deep end' at times, right?

Phew. Have you recovered from all the motivational cliches and cringe-worthy quotes being thrown at you yet?! I guess this post has been more of a 'diary' entry for me - I have no idea where on earth I was going with it but I just wanted to let you in on what's been happening in my life - it's also something I can look back at in years to come and remember this weird, awkward stage of my life by.  I like to think that if any of you can relate to this in any way that you'll take something from it - even if it's just something as simple as applying for a job you'd convinced yourself you weren't good enough to apply for...or accepting a university place you were scared to take... even something as silly as asking that stud-muffin with the nice stubble who you happen to work with out for a beverage or approaching your boss about something you've been worried about...publishing that blog post you've been umming and arring about sharing for months. I guess what I'm trying to say is that this can apply to anything in life - relationships, life goals, interviews, exams, blogging...the list is endless. Throw caution to the wind once in a while, ask yourself what you'd do if fear wasn't an issue and do it - you might just surprise yourself. If not, well, I hope you enjoyed my little ramble and at least had a good ol' giggle at how bloomin' reflective one person can be! And with that, I'm off to pin some more motivational life quotes on Pinterest... (if you fancy following me and share in my quote-obsession, feel free to hop on over to my profile here)

Lots of Love x