Reflecting on 2014 & My New Years Resolutions!

Pinch, Punch, First of the month and a very HAPPY 2015 FOLKS! What's New Year without a few resolutions, ey?! I know that not everybody likes the whole 'new year new me' rubbish but I'm all in favour of new beginnings and reflecting upon what you might like to do differently in future - it's the perfect excuse to change things you aren't happy with, wipe the slate clean and think about what it is you want to achieve for the year ahead. 2015 really does mark the start of something new for me - I start my new job on Monday (wish me luck!) which is the perfect new beginning and I cannot wait to start doing something I love for a living - I feel extremely lucky to have such a passion for something and to be able to call it work, and I cannot wait to see what happens over the course of the next 12 months. 3 years ago, I made a decision to change something I wasn't happy with and I feel like I'm finally reaping the rewards - it's blooming' fantastic!

2014 was a pretty successful year when I actually think about it.  I finished my degree, graduated with first class honours and I managed to get a placement at an amazing company I've wanted to work with since forever.  Seriously, that sounds a bit corny but it was a big focus of mine throughout my entire degree and I really wanted to satisfy my curiosity.  Not only that, but I ended up going back later on in the year and created my very own card/wrapping paper range which will be on the shelves of a major retailer in 2015 (for those of you who don't know - i studied graphic design/illustration). Its something I've always wanted to do but I never thought it would actually happen - I've ticked something off of my list that I never thought I'd get the chance to accomplish.  I also came away with some new friends - I was so lucky to live with the most lovely bunch of girls for the entire time and it just made it even more of a positive experience for me. Top that off with an amazing week in London with my uni bunch and it was a spiffing year when it came down to that side of things.  Admittedly, 2014 wasn't the best below the surface. It's amazing how a person can have such an effect on your own wellbeing and a lot of rubbish was bought to the forefront for me.  However, I really don't want to focus on the negative so I'll just flip it into a positive - I can honestly say that I really did learn how strong I really am this year and I'm relieved to say that things seem to be getting better and better.  Like I said, what with my new job - I finally have something new to focus on and I really have learnt so much these past 12 months.  I've learnt a lot of life lessons - some of which I wish I didn't have to learn but like they say - what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!  Here's my new years resolutions for 2015:

// Take more photos & document the little things more //

I realised the other day that I really haven't documented the past couple of years all that well. I used to be such a sucker for taking photographs and although I've taken a fair few, in this day and age where you genuinely question whether things even happened if you haven't taken a picture (thanks Instagram), I actually haven't taken many whatsoever in the grand scheme of things.  I have some holiday photos and that's about yer lot.  I really want to start Instagram-ing in 2015 and just document the little moments more - like random evenings out and meet-ups with old friends.  I feel sad that I didn't take the time over the past 2 years to do that - at the end of 2015, I'd love to make a little photobook up of my year and be able to remember all the little things.

// Concentrate on my career //

I'm so excited to start my new job!  It's something I've wanted to get in to for a very long time and I'd love to see where it goes this year.  I've never been one to do things by halves and I've always been quite career driven - so it's the perfect chance for me to start pouring some energy into work and hopefully setting down some foundations for the next few years ahead.

// Build my savings back up // 

By heck did my savings take a battering this year.  I saved money like a trooper at my last place of work but I ended up having to use a little bit of it this year whilst I was job hunting after finishing uni.  2015 is the year of savings for me - fun! I have a rather ambitious figure in mind but i have no doubt I'll get there if I go about things the right way.  I'd love to get some solid savings back in the bank for 2016 as I have a lot of things I want to do over the course of the next 2 years. 

// Up my blog game & branch out a little...//

Uni really did knock me off course with my blog slightly.  I managed to keep posting but I just wasn't as in-tune with it as I wanted to be.  December saw me fall back in love with blogging and as a result, it's been rewarding to watch my blog start growing again and I'm feeling more motivated than ever.  I'm hoping I manage to keep it up throughout 2015 - and I'd love to start typing up some more life related rambles.  My 'Expectations of a Twenty-Something' post was one of my most popular to date and I really enjoyed writing it. 

// Squats, Squats, Squats //

Oo - typical new years resolution right here! During the summer, I really did concentrate on toning up my body and I kept it up for a good few months. I noticed such a difference and then as soon as the darker nights started rolling in I let it slide.  I'm not going to totally kid myself and promise to join a gym - because I know the chances of that are pretty slim - however, I would like to get back into home exercise. It's amazing how much better I felt both physically and mentally - and I felt the happiest I've ever felt with my body. In 2015 I'd love to get back on the health kick!

// Stop trying to force things to happen //

I'm often guilty of trying to force things or rush things that I believe to be the right thing for me.  This year,  I've spent way too much time worrying over every little thing - trying to control every single aspect of my life and I think that in 2015, I just need to let things be and stop worrying.  Everything turned out just fine this year and wish I'd spent less time worrying and more time just enjoying situations for what they were. 'What is meant for you will not pass you by...'

// Make more plans - because I finally can!! //

My university days are over and although they were some of the best days of my life, I have to admit I'm so relieved to be earning money again and I'll be glad to have some routine back.  This year, I really want to make some more plans with friends and family - I'm going to make an effort to do more fun things, be a little more spontaneous and just enjoy whatever time I have off.  I'm thinking days out, weekends away and maybe a holiday or two. I just feel as if i'm finally able to really grab life by the horns and do whatever it is I want to do with my spare time.

So there we have it - some new year's resolutions.  On the whole, 2015 is about laying down the foundations for the next few years of my life.  It's always good to have a plan - and I have to say I'm quite proud of myself for always being one step ahead - I'm constantly thinking about what I want to achieve and where I see myself in the future - it's served me well so far and I've never been the type to sit back and rest on my laurels. But more than anything, my main aim is to just be happy and healthy  - to me, that's more important than anything. The past 2 years have been very hit and miss for me but I have to say I finally feel like things really are turning out for the better. I cannot wait to see what this new year holds! New year, new job and a brand new beginning! Here's to 2015 fellow bloggers and Bird's Words readers *raises imaginary champagne glass* - I hope you have a good one!

What are your 2015 resolutions? Let me know if you've done a similar post!

The Expectations of Being 'A Twenty-Something'

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Expectations.  To a certain extent it's good to have them but more often than not, they can be the cause for all matter of disappointments.  When you're younger, you begin to conjure up this image of your life and how it will be when you're 'all grown up'.  You dream of the day when you finally have your shit together (pardon my mild french...) - a nice little place to live,  that 'grown up' career you always dreamed of, a potential somebody to settle down with and, if you're lucky, your own pet cat as the cherry on the top of the cake (or any other pet for that matter - but for the record I've always been a cat lover...) Before you know it, you really are a twenty-something and you realise that you totally haven't got your shit together. At all. Not even close.  At 24, I can't say I'm exactly running out of time can I? But I'd be telling porkies if I told you that I haven't got some sort of idea in my mind of the 'ideals' - the ideal age I'd like to settle down, the ideal age I'd like to have my career sorted - you get the jist - I can't help but notice that a handful of these 'ideals' I've set for myself have either already passed, or are edging closer. I haven't got my career sorted (I've only just left university). I haven't got my own place. I'm still fishing in the singles pond and, you guessed it, I haven't got that pet cat either.

It's only now that I'm beginning to realise that having expectations like these can be the cause of so much uncertainty and unhappiness.  Of course, you've got to have dreams and goals and ambitions but I think, sometimes, we get carried away thinking about what it is we're supposed to be doing rather than just letting things happen naturally - we resist going with the flow, put a time-limit on everything and feel pressurised into being 'perfect'. As I'm currently job-hunting, I've toyed with the possibility of moving away from my home town. Although that excites me, I must admit it's something that doesn't exactly match up with those expectations I once had. Whether I end up doing it or not is another question - it depends on what job I decide to take - but I always thought that if I was going to move away, I'd be doing it with somebody and that I'd have someone to share the excitement with.  I had this image in my head of moving somewhere with a long-term boyfriend, just like so many of my friends have done - but it just hasn't panned out that way for me and sometimes I can't help but feel a bit disheartened about the fact that it won't be how I'd always imagined it to be.  I definitely think that this is where social media can filter into things. My news feed is full of people buying their first house, getting engaged, having babies, gaining promotions and generally just sharing their successes and happiness.  I'm not saying I haven't had my own and of course I'm always chuffed to bits for my friends, but it can be overwhelming when you realise you've almost hit your mid-twenties and aren't even remotely close to having any of these things. Whether you mean to or not, it's very easy to fall in to the trap of comparing your 20-something life to the array of other 20-somethings out there and life can sometimes feel like a competition of who's doing it best and who got there first.

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Which begs the question, what is the rush?  Why do I actually feel rushed in to having all of these things at the age of 24 and why on earth do I feel like I'm running out of time?! When you step back and take a look at things, you realise that there really isn't a set of rules and your twenties (as corny as it sounds) are all about finding yourself, discovering what you want from life, taking steps towards your future and making a few mistakes along the way (and I've made my fair share...) There's no right or wrong way to do things. I have friends my age who still go out and knock back cheap shots every single weekend - good for them - I also have friends my age who are buying houses, planning weddings and having children - that's jolly good too. I'm just floating around somewhere in the middle of all of that - but it just goes to show how having these expectations when we're in our twenties is completely and utterly pointless - there's no unwritten rule that we absolutely have to have everything sorted before we hit 25 - there's no tick-list - so why do I, and so many other people I know, feel so much pressure to have everything in place when in reality, we should just be enjoying things for what they are? 

There's no doubt that being in your twenties can be a little daunting at times. I'm currently job-hunting after finishing my degree (I chose to go to university ever so slightly later than the usual) and can't help but feel I'm a few years behind some of my friends who are all settled in jobs/relationships and are well away climbing up the career ladder - but you know what? That's ok. I have no doubt that it was the right way to go about things for me, and I like to think I've spent time exploring my options, deciding what's best and piecing things together slowly instead of jumping head-first in to something that isn't going to make me happy in the long-term. I've been reminding myself that this little awkward stage in my life isn't going to last forever and that sometimes, it does you good to have some time to re-evaluate and fathom out the next steps you need to take in order to get where you want to be.

Despite all the pressure, you have to remind yourself that it's okay to feel lost now and again.  It's normal to question whether or not you're going in the right direction and it's ok to have absolutely no idea what it is you want to do next. That's the beauty of being in your twenties - there's no better time to make mistakes or change your mind, to feel completely at a loss or feel as if you're back at 'square one'...  Instead of allowing these silly expectations of what you should have achieved/should be doing at a certain age get under your skin, I think it's important to focus on what's right for you. Maybe you've just finished your degree, maybe you've just quit your job and decided on a whim you want to go down a completely new path, maybe you've just come out of a long-term relationship and feel completely daunted at the prospect of learning to be completely by yourself again - just because you're a little bit 'up in the air' doesn't mean that you haven't already accomplished something or made a positive step in the right direction. I think what I'm trying to say is that sometimes it's important to just step back, realise things for what they are and relax a little. Just because things aren't going the way you planned or hoped doesn't mean that things aren't falling in to place, and just because some people appear to be a little further ahead in this supposed twenty-something-race compared to you, doesn't mean they actually are. If you've been feeling this way lately, i think it's a good thing to remember that you're not alone.  Rest assured that there's other 20-somethings out there who feel exactly the same way as you. Remind yourself that there's no rush, no 'race' and no time-limit when it comes to achieving your goals and ambitions and focus on staying happy and true to yourself - and above all have faith that eventually, things will turn out exactly the way you'd hoped.

'Don't compare your chapter on to somebody else's chapter 20...'

Life Lately | 'What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid?'

OOoo hold on to yer hats...Beth's getting motivational.  If you follow me on Twitter, or if you actually manage to get to the end of some of my blog ramblings (massive pat on the back to you there if you read through all of my dribble and live to tell the tale), then you might know that I'm currently going through a little 'stage' in my life. Everything seems to be changing rather quickly, opportunities I never thought I'd have are suddenly popping up left, right and centre and when I look back at how my life was 3 years ago, it's easy to feel quite overwhelmed. Anyone who knows me personally will know I'm the biggest home-bird ever. I like routine. I like to know what's going to happen and what's around the corner. I like to have my friends and family around me and I like familiarity...  I will hold my hands up and admit that I hate change. As someone who also has always suffered from panic attacks now and again (since the age of 5), it's no surprise that I have a tendency to stick to what I know. I'm quite a confident little person, really... I'm ambitious, bubbly and I enjoy seeing how far I can push myself so it's always seemed to me that my fear of change and unfamiliarity is a bit of an annoying hurdle I often find myself having to overcome. Sometimes I hate the fact that I'm so set in my ways and so homebird-ish for the simple fact it holds me back.  However, after one heck of a lot of thinking and actually taking steps to change this for good, my mind-set has completely shifted in the space of a few months.  I've totally started to embrace the idea that 'the world is my oyster'...I've accepted challenges and opportunities that I probably wouldn't have thought twice about in the past, all because I've been asking myself one question, 'What would you do if you weren't afraid?'

When it comes to making decisions, I'm often guilty of feeling drawn towards the path I feel more comfortable with as opposed to the one that's a little more adventurous. I envy those that can just grab the steering wheel and do a complete life 'u-turn' without so much of a check in their rear-view mirror!  But the past few months, I've forced myself to avoid the easy options. When one of my tutors suggested I look for jobs in the US, I almost spat my 50p-vending-machine tea in her face. After realising that she wasn't at all joking, and the more she spoke to me about why it would suit me, I started to think 'why the hell not?!'  I'd instantly written it off in my mind for the simple fact it didn't fit within my comfort zone and that's when I started to make some changes. It was the last little step in my university journey - to realise that I actually had potential to go beyond what I'd always imagined and what I'd already achieved. I'd always pictured myself finding a job within a few miles of home, settling in to my own place a few minutes from where I'd grown up and I struggled to genuinely consider other options.  After realising that the only things holding me back were fear and doubt, I started to branch out and open my eyes to what the future really could be.  If you're currently nodding along thinking 'that sounds like me' - then hopefully this post might become a little stepping stone towards changing your mind-set too.

Fear and doubt are pesky little things, aren't they? I'm guilty of thinking 'I can't do that because...' or 'What if this happens and it all goes wrong?' or 'What if things don't turn out the way I want them to?' (typical worrier asking 'what if' all the time!) I've really been trying to change my thought process with this sort of thing. As soon as the doubt creeps in, I try and shut it up with other thoughts...such as 'but it might turn out this way...' or 'so what if I fail?'. Because SO WHAT!? Even if you do completely mess up or fail at something, it's all experience to learn from. You just have to look at it in the right way - you'll know what you can maybe do differently for next time, or you'll know that something definitely isn't for you. As someone who's a bit of a perfectionist, I know exactly how it feels to be scared to fail at something... I almost feel as if I'm undoing all the good work I've done so far and I thrive off success but as the old saying goes... 'You'll never know if you never try'. You need to make mistakes and do things you don't want to do in order to grow as a person and I've been doing all of this without realising for the past 5 or 6 years of my life - i just needed to apply it to bigger things.  Of course, I'm not suggesting you simply jump right in to making a big life change or important decision without so much as a 'YOLO' (yep - I went there...) - that would be a little silly. I just think it's important not to over-think and rule something out simply because the thought of it scares you.  The moment I over-think things is the moment I'll back out so I'm trying to make sure I don't give myself chance to do so - and it's working. I'm being a little more laidback about things and making a concious effort not to over-analyse.   I actually came across a really good quote the other day. I can't for the life of me find it now but it went something along the lines of this: It's always best to think 'I can't believe I did that' instead of 'I wish I'd done that'. 

Throughout my time in work and at uni, I've realised that visualising the way you want things to be works wonders.  A positive mind-set is key to success.  I could write a whole separate post on this technique but it's something I've been doing for years and it has never failed me so far.  For example, there was a really important presentation for a live-brief I'd been doing at uni and I really wanted to win the pitch (call me competitive but I knew i wouldn't sleep that night if I didn't...)  I imagined exactly how I wanted the pitch to go - how I'd walk in, how I'd introduce myself, what I'd say, how I'd say it, and even how they'd react. I even imagined the 'Q&A' sesh afterwards and came up with a few quirky little answers to questions I didn't even know I'd get asked - and went in there with all of this fresh in my mind.  I ended up winning the pitch, bagging myself an internship and I've treated presentations and interviews this way ever since.  I truly believe that visualising something going well effects the outcome - again, another quote, 'Whether you think you can or you can't - you're absolutely right'.  I've taken this way of thinking and applied it to bigger things in my life.  Instead of thinking that I'd be an emotional wreck if I moved away from my home town and that I wouldn't be happy somewhere completely new, I've been imagining myself doing all of these new, scary things and succeeding at doing them. I've thought about what car I might buy next, who I might meet, what my office might look like, how I'd decorate the lounge when I move... you get the idea! I've tried to get myself excited about possible big changes instead of focusing on what might go wrong.  The only thing that's been holding me back is those silly little thoughts that I wouldn't be able to cope. That's the thing about thoughts - you get so used to having them that you begin to genuinely believe what they're telling you. It takes a bit of time and a few baby-steps to turn it around, but it's possible to get there.  Of course, I'm not saying that because I've visualised it all going swimmingly well that absolutely nothing will go wrong or that I'll 100% love it if I end up moving - but positive thinking is the first step to doing things outside of your comfort zone and it gives you the boost you need to actually give things a go. Again, back to the title of this post - you have to ask yourself 'what would I do if I weren't afraid?'

So it's all well and good saying that you're going to attempt to change things, but actually changing things is another story.  Personally, for me, it's all about keeping an open mind in order to spread my wings and find the job that I feel is right for me.  This post isn't me announcing that I'm hopping on a jet plane to the other side of the world  - so please don't ridicule me if I don't end up moving miles away ;) I might end up staying close to home if it's for the right job. My ultimate goal has always been to be happy, healthy, and living the life I've been imagining since I quit my job and started Uni 3 years ago. Whether that means staying where I am or moving away half way across the world to achieve this - Who knows - that's the beauty of it.  I don't know what's going to happen but for once in my life I'm actually considering other options, seeking things further afield and lifting that barrier I've always had in my head - that's exactly what I wanted to achieve when I started this whole process. I was approached by a company in Switzerland a few weeks back and immediately applied - whereas before, I'd have written it straight off without a second thought, I actually went for it.  I still don't know where I am in the application process but simply just applying was a step in the right direction for me. I've spoken to companies dotted around the UK... some in Europe... I even made steps to connect with a few over in the US.  I finally feel as if I've addressed that last little niggle that's been holding me back for years and after a lot of self-motivation and a bit of a reality-check, I'm excited to see what the future holds. I have no idea what's going to happen, and that's fine with me. It's good to feel a little bit 'thrown in at the deep end' at times, right?

Phew. Have you recovered from all the motivational cliches and cringe-worthy quotes being thrown at you yet?! I guess this post has been more of a 'diary' entry for me - I have no idea where on earth I was going with it but I just wanted to let you in on what's been happening in my life - it's also something I can look back at in years to come and remember this weird, awkward stage of my life by.  I like to think that if any of you can relate to this in any way that you'll take something from it - even if it's just something as simple as applying for a job you'd convinced yourself you weren't good enough to apply for...or accepting a university place you were scared to take... even something as silly as asking that stud-muffin with the nice stubble who you happen to work with out for a beverage or approaching your boss about something you've been worried about...publishing that blog post you've been umming and arring about sharing for months. I guess what I'm trying to say is that this can apply to anything in life - relationships, life goals, interviews, exams, blogging...the list is endless. Throw caution to the wind once in a while, ask yourself what you'd do if fear wasn't an issue and do it - you might just surprise yourself. If not, well, I hope you enjoyed my little ramble and at least had a good ol' giggle at how bloomin' reflective one person can be! And with that, I'm off to pin some more motivational life quotes on Pinterest... (if you fancy following me and share in my quote-obsession, feel free to hop on over to my profile here)

Lots of Love x

Life Rambles | Finishing Uni, Ends of Eras & Blogging

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Oh hello there. I think it's time to address the elephant in the room. I haven't blogged in nearly 2 weeks. I'm aware that some of you are probably sitting there rolling your eyeballs and muttering 'fsssh...who cares?' but in all honesty, I haven't gone a week without blogging since I first starting typing away my life on Bird's Words 3 years ago and to me - it's felt like a long time to be out of the loop. When you've been blogging a while, and when you've always had some sort of 'routine' with your uploading schedule, 10 days or so without even thinking about uploading a post or taking a single photograph feels rather strange. Top that off with the fact I've had to seriously drop my amount of blogging time the past few months and it really has felt like massive step back from my little hobby - but it's one that I realise I needed. I've had a lot on my plate these past few months - and although blogging is indeed an amazing escape if you've been feeling a little less than chipper, i also think it can be quite refreshing to just take your mind off it now and again. I shall say now that I have no idea where on earth I'm going with this post - it's not at all planned and it's more of a spur of the moment ramble (typical Beth) - but I guess I just wanted to keep you all up to date with why I've been so hit and miss with the ol' blogging regime of late.

I think it's fair to say I'm at a crucial stage of my life right now.  I've officially finished my degree course and aside from dotting a few i's and crossing a few t's, I'm pretty much done and dusted and am preparing myself for a shed load of job interviews and some serious job searching (wish me luck...) It doesn't seem like 5 minutes ago I was typing about my decision to make a change and go to uni after being unhappy in my old job for quite some time. Although uni has been stressful at times, it is without a doubt the best decision I ever made and it has completely changed me as a person. I've always been very ambitious - and when I realised that my old path in life offered me nothing in terms of job satisfaction or room to carve any form of career, I decided to make the jump. I started Bird's Words at the start of my little journey and it's really nice to look back on my old posts and realise how much my life has changed in the space of 3 years.  You don't really think about it at the time, but whenever you hit that 'publish' button, you're almost creating an online diary without even trying. I've gone through some cruddy things the past couple of years - and at times I've even had people suggest that I quit uni and restart again once I've got myself back on track. Well, I certainly stuck two fingers up to that! I realised just quite how strong I can be - and I found that pouring myself completely into my work actually helped me through a lot.

So, whilst I'm currently a complete busy bee trying to set things up for my next step in life, I'm also trying to enjoy the last little dregs of student life and I'm making the most of an end of an era. Saying this, I've realised I'm completely useless when it comes to 'ends of eras'.  Seriously, I turn into an emotional wreck. Some people deal with change amazingly well but I find it rather difficult - I get attached to people and places very easily and I often feel sad about leaving things behind rather than thinking about what fabulous new experiences lie ahead of me. I get quite overwhelmed when I have no idea what's going to happen next (i hate uncertainty) and I also find myself getting sentimental over silly, insignificant things.  I kid you not, I shed a tear when I served my last customer at my old job - who even does that?! I remember thinking 'this is the last time I'm ever going to sit and have a cup of tea in the tea room', 'this is the last time I'm ever going to open the till', 'this is the last time I'm ever going to turn the lights out in the stockroom'.... It legit felt like the last episode of Friends when I handed in my locker key for the last time, let me tell you! How ridiculous?! Surely it's not just me who gets like this when something comes to an end? (no? just me then...) I'm currently going through the same motions now as I pack away my things but i'm determined to grasp every last little ounce of enjoyment out of it because it's something I'm never going to get back again. I'm not a complete emotional numpty though - I'm also excited about finally finding myself a job that I can (hopefully) say that I love and I'm planning on saving the pennies so that I can actually manage to afford a little place of my own (and maybe a nice new car to go with it but let's not get ahead of ourselves...) Who knows, I'm even setting my job searching further afield (despite being the biggest home bird ever) as I quite like the idea of starting afresh. Wipe the slate clean, as they say! 

Before I became a student, I used to think 'how hard can it be' - but I can honestly say it's one of the most challenging things I've ever done yet also one of the most rewarding. I find out the results of my degree on the 17th of this month and that date cannot come quick enough for me.  When I first started my final year, I set myself a little mission to achieve a 'first'. It began as a fleeting thought but gradually, I became quite obsessed with it (I needed something to focus on what with things going on behind the scenes so it became almost like an escape for me) - I've been working like a complete trooper for the past few months. I've had people say 'why are you so bothered? you'll find a job anyway...' but if you're like me, you'll understand.  If you say you're going to do something - you do it. And you do it well.  I'm so excited to finally find out what I've managed to achieve - the thought that I've invested so much time and work in my own future is a feeling that I cannot describe and when it's something you never thought you'd do (I never planned to go to uni), that feeling is even more exaggerated. So - fear not, I'll be back to my beauty blogging ways shortly and I'm certainly not quitting Bird's Words-ing (a few of you have emailed me after noticing - I never knew I was so predictable with my posts!)  I just want to thank you all for being so supportive the past few months - there's a few of you that really have kept me going and although i haven't been as 'full on' on the blogging front, I've still been reading all of your comments and trying my utmost to be as sociable as possible (a challenge in itself - those of you in uni will know how easy it is to become some sort of hermit...) I do apologise for this somewhat boring post - I know that not everyone wants to read about people's lives and not everyone is as nosey as me, but be reassured that I have a heap of products ready and waiting to be written about - in fact, my 'to be photographed' pile is getting ridiculously high - I look like I'm trying to build an escape route in my bedroom... I'm also planning on doing some holiday/summery related posts over the next few months so keep your eyes peeled for those! All that's left to say really is stick with me - there's no way I'm going to drift away from the blogging community no matter how hectic life gets.

Is anyone else like me when it comes to the 'end of an era'? If any of you have also just finished university - I wish you all the best :)

New Year's Resolutions & Aims | & a 2013 Overview

2013 was a bittersweet year for me. 'Emotional rollercoaster' is a cliche term usually only pulled out of the bag by people on reality TV shows, but for me, 2013 really has been just that - a complete mish-mash of twists and turns, ups and downs and highs and lows.  2013 kicked off on a bit of a low point for me.  Having being rushed to hospital with a pretty nasty allergic reaction to Penicillin a few days before Christmas of 2012, it's fair to say that I spent the beginning of the year feeling a little bit wobbly and out of sorts.  It was the catalyst for a whole bunch of other health problems and opened up what I can only describe as a shelf full of cans of worms.  I won't go into the ins and outs, but I don't think I've ever spent so much time in a doctor's surgery or sat and had someone stab me with a needle so many times in my life.  Of course, I'm aware I should count my blessings, and that I certainly did, but I can't help but feel that 2013 dealt me a slightly cruddy hand when it came to health and well being. Annoyingly so, this little spurt of health issues and worries bought my panic attacks and anxiety to the boil and I really was pushed to my limits this year. I ended up having to have a course of CBT sessions, something I never imagined I'd have to do again, but luckily I seem to be recovering from it all now. Couple all of this with a really horrible break-up earlier in the year and it's no wonder I spent a small portion of 2013 feeling less than chipper.  However, I battled on through and although it's taken a good year to get this far, there's a lot of light at the end of the tunnel.

2013 has been one of the most successful years of my life to date.  After working in retail full-time for a few years and feeling less than satisfied with my future career prospects, I took a snap decision in 2011 to go to university and study towards something I've always had an overwhelming urge to do - graphic design/illustration. It was a terrifying thought at the time - I gave up a lovely full-time wage, a secure job and a lifestyle I'd gotten completely used to for student loans and one heck of a lot of hard work.  I can safely say I finally reaped the rewards of that scary decision this year.  So much so, I actually quit working part-time in retail at the end of January (yep - I really did cut the cord and take away the safety blanket) so that I could fully concentrate on my new little path in life.  I now have 2 internships under my belt and have a portfolio I can really be proud of. I wrote and illustrated my own children's book that proved to be a major success for me and I took the book, along with the rest of my portfolio, down to London with me in July where I spent a week exhibiting at the New Designers Show with the rest of my course - people who I can honestly say are real, true friends of mine and although I was going through a lot at the time (and felt pretty rubbish for the entire course of the week), it was still an amazing experience. I spoke to children's book publishers, swapped contacts with design agency's and possible future employers, and really got a grasp of what my future might hold.  My work was picked up by a well-known design website and featured among 'the best of 2013's show' - and I also appeared on a couple of lifestyle blogs of people who had been to the exhibition and liked my work - which of course, being a blogger, made me extremely happy!  Towards the end of this year, I found out I'm also being put forward to be part of an online Illustration Agency for 2014 - which if I manage to get in - would be an amazing little leg-up into my future career and could help with the whole 'between finishing uni and finding a job' thing. I can't believe how far I've come in the space of 1 year and I'm so excited for what the next holds. I don't know where I'll be or what I'll be doing this time next year - which is a scary but exciting thought - but I'm determined to make these final few months of uni really count towards something and I genuinely feel as if I'm actually, finally getting somewhere.  Proof that a snap decision can change your life for the better. So anyway, onto the good stuff - my resolutions of 2014.  Every year, we all make resolutions we can't keep. At least, I know I do. But I'm determined to make some changes in 2014 and really make it a jolly good year.  Here's what I hope to accomplish/achieve in the following 12 months.... and if I don't? Well, there's always 2015...

1. Graduate with a good degree & find a job within 5 months

I won't harp on about this one as I've kind of expressed my enthusiasm for my degree in my rambles above.  I finish in July of this year and really, really want to achieve a high grade and continue to achieve well. The sky's the limit.  It sounds a little bit gushy - but I sometimes have one of those reflective moments and feel so blessed that I've got the 'creative bone' in my body.  It allows me to do things a little different from the norm and the fact that I've chosen to persue a career within the field really does make me happy.  It's a really nice feeling when a career path and a passion begin to come together - and I've loved creating things ever since I first picked up a colouring crayon! I've been told by one of my tutors it usually takes an average of 5-6 months to find a design job after graduating, so that's certainly going to be an aim of mine.  In an ideal world, I'd love to have one by Christmas of next year - but it's extremely competitive out there. Wish me luck...

2.  Stop worrying about everything and get my anxiety back under control

Again, I mentioned above about my struggles with anxiety this year.  I know deep down I'll never really get rid of my panic attacks altogether - but I want to get back to how I was before the ordeal last Christmas and finally feel 100% 'me' again.  I need to stop worrying about things that won't happen, stop obsessing over things that don't matter and stop trying to change things I know I can't change.  My aim is to be a much more calmer, relaxed version of 'Beth' in 2014.

3. Save the pennies

I'm actually pretty good when it comes to saving money.  But I really do want to add to my savings accounts this year.  The design industry could take me anywhere and if I need to move for a job then I shall require some dollar in the bank!  I aim to stay local in the first few years of my career (I'm such a home bird...) - but you never know do you? 

4. Kick-start the summer body!
Oo you can't have a list of resolutions without some sort of exercising/'join a gym' goal in there somewhere can you?! I won't lie to myself and say I'll join a gym because I know for a fact I won't. I simply can't afford the commitment right now, however, this year I really do want to detox more and get my body toned and ready for summer.  I managed to keep up a really good fitness regime the year before last and I noticed such a difference so I really want to start making it a regular thing again!

5.  Get back my confidence with driving

I love driving. But I really have lost my confidence with it the past couple of years or so simply because I never need to go far.  I take the bus to uni because it's easier on the pennies and I can't remember the last time I've gone too far from home in the ol' birdmobile.  I'm actually a pretty good driver and I do genuinely enjoy doing it - so this year, I'm determined to get my driving mojo back.  I'm considering doing a couple of refresher lessons - or just putting a random address into a SatNav and grabbing the bull by the horns and just going for it. I've made it my summer task - after the stresses and strains of uni work are out of the way and I can really knuckle down on it for a couple of weeks or so.

6. Take more photos

I blame Pinterest for this resolution. I'm already snap happy but I really want to start taking photographs even more.  The type that look really considered and capture the essence of a moment - the type you see on these really put together lifestyle blogs and on people's Pinterest boards.  I need to set up a new Instagram, actually take my big beastly camera abroad with me and be more creative with my kodak moments.

7. Enjoy the moment more

Ok - this one kind of contradicts the last.  But sometimes I feel as if we are all so caught up in this over-sharing, social media obsessed world of today that we actually forget to just enjoy the moment. If something funny happens, I feel sad I haven't got it on video.  If I miss a particularly good 'artistic photograph' moment with a bunch of friends, I feel disappointed I haven't got my swishy camera with me.  So what?!?! I have an iPhone I can capture it with - albeit it might be a little grainy but who gives a hoot? I need to concentrate more on enjoying a moment for what it is and stop thinking of making everything picture perfect all the time.  It's all stored in the bank of memories anyway!

8. Blogging aims & goals...

I'm not going to set myself any blogging goals or aims this year - as I think it sets me up for disappointment, but I've recently taken a little step back and know what I need to change, what I need to keep doing and where I want to go with my blog.  All in all, I just want to continue to enjoy blogging - I think I lost sight of my blog a little in 2013.  It might not seem like it on the surface, but beneath it - I've realised I've been concentrating far too much on trying to have everything 'perfect'. I put pressure on myself when it comes to my blog and compare myself to others (as I'm sure we are all guilty of...) I just want to take it back to basics and enjoy it in the same way I did when I first started out - less planning, less editing and more enjoyment! So what if there's a pesky shadow in a photograph, or if the lighting isn't top notch or if I've accidentally left my camera on another setting and the photos look slightly 'less nice' than normal.   I'd also love to start commenting more on other's blogs the way I used to - I actually used to comment on every post I read! I think blogging has kind of shifted in 2013 - we aren't as interactive in the ol' comments box as we used to be (is it just me who feels this way?) - I'd love to take time to interact more via Blogger instead of relying purely on Twitter.  I want to reach my milestone of 4k within the next few months (because 4 is my lucky number I'm particularly excited about it) and I also want to continue to experiment with my photography and refresh/tweak my blog design over the summer.   In a nutshell - I just want to continue to be creative with my blog, continue to see it grow and enjoy it for what it is. Mine.

What are you resolutions this year? Any similar to mine?

If you've done a similar post, be sure to let me know in the comments down below!