Life Lately | 'What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid?'

OOoo hold on to yer hats...Beth's getting motivational.  If you follow me on Twitter, or if you actually manage to get to the end of some of my blog ramblings (massive pat on the back to you there if you read through all of my dribble and live to tell the tale), then you might know that I'm currently going through a little 'stage' in my life. Everything seems to be changing rather quickly, opportunities I never thought I'd have are suddenly popping up left, right and centre and when I look back at how my life was 3 years ago, it's easy to feel quite overwhelmed. Anyone who knows me personally will know I'm the biggest home-bird ever. I like routine. I like to know what's going to happen and what's around the corner. I like to have my friends and family around me and I like familiarity...  I will hold my hands up and admit that I hate change. As someone who also has always suffered from panic attacks now and again (since the age of 5), it's no surprise that I have a tendency to stick to what I know. I'm quite a confident little person, really... I'm ambitious, bubbly and I enjoy seeing how far I can push myself so it's always seemed to me that my fear of change and unfamiliarity is a bit of an annoying hurdle I often find myself having to overcome. Sometimes I hate the fact that I'm so set in my ways and so homebird-ish for the simple fact it holds me back.  However, after one heck of a lot of thinking and actually taking steps to change this for good, my mind-set has completely shifted in the space of a few months.  I've totally started to embrace the idea that 'the world is my oyster'...I've accepted challenges and opportunities that I probably wouldn't have thought twice about in the past, all because I've been asking myself one question, 'What would you do if you weren't afraid?'

When it comes to making decisions, I'm often guilty of feeling drawn towards the path I feel more comfortable with as opposed to the one that's a little more adventurous. I envy those that can just grab the steering wheel and do a complete life 'u-turn' without so much of a check in their rear-view mirror!  But the past few months, I've forced myself to avoid the easy options. When one of my tutors suggested I look for jobs in the US, I almost spat my 50p-vending-machine tea in her face. After realising that she wasn't at all joking, and the more she spoke to me about why it would suit me, I started to think 'why the hell not?!'  I'd instantly written it off in my mind for the simple fact it didn't fit within my comfort zone and that's when I started to make some changes. It was the last little step in my university journey - to realise that I actually had potential to go beyond what I'd always imagined and what I'd already achieved. I'd always pictured myself finding a job within a few miles of home, settling in to my own place a few minutes from where I'd grown up and I struggled to genuinely consider other options.  After realising that the only things holding me back were fear and doubt, I started to branch out and open my eyes to what the future really could be.  If you're currently nodding along thinking 'that sounds like me' - then hopefully this post might become a little stepping stone towards changing your mind-set too.

Fear and doubt are pesky little things, aren't they? I'm guilty of thinking 'I can't do that because...' or 'What if this happens and it all goes wrong?' or 'What if things don't turn out the way I want them to?' (typical worrier asking 'what if' all the time!) I've really been trying to change my thought process with this sort of thing. As soon as the doubt creeps in, I try and shut it up with other thoughts...such as 'but it might turn out this way...' or 'so what if I fail?'. Because SO WHAT!? Even if you do completely mess up or fail at something, it's all experience to learn from. You just have to look at it in the right way - you'll know what you can maybe do differently for next time, or you'll know that something definitely isn't for you. As someone who's a bit of a perfectionist, I know exactly how it feels to be scared to fail at something... I almost feel as if I'm undoing all the good work I've done so far and I thrive off success but as the old saying goes... 'You'll never know if you never try'. You need to make mistakes and do things you don't want to do in order to grow as a person and I've been doing all of this without realising for the past 5 or 6 years of my life - i just needed to apply it to bigger things.  Of course, I'm not suggesting you simply jump right in to making a big life change or important decision without so much as a 'YOLO' (yep - I went there...) - that would be a little silly. I just think it's important not to over-think and rule something out simply because the thought of it scares you.  The moment I over-think things is the moment I'll back out so I'm trying to make sure I don't give myself chance to do so - and it's working. I'm being a little more laidback about things and making a concious effort not to over-analyse.   I actually came across a really good quote the other day. I can't for the life of me find it now but it went something along the lines of this: It's always best to think 'I can't believe I did that' instead of 'I wish I'd done that'. 

Throughout my time in work and at uni, I've realised that visualising the way you want things to be works wonders.  A positive mind-set is key to success.  I could write a whole separate post on this technique but it's something I've been doing for years and it has never failed me so far.  For example, there was a really important presentation for a live-brief I'd been doing at uni and I really wanted to win the pitch (call me competitive but I knew i wouldn't sleep that night if I didn't...)  I imagined exactly how I wanted the pitch to go - how I'd walk in, how I'd introduce myself, what I'd say, how I'd say it, and even how they'd react. I even imagined the 'Q&A' sesh afterwards and came up with a few quirky little answers to questions I didn't even know I'd get asked - and went in there with all of this fresh in my mind.  I ended up winning the pitch, bagging myself an internship and I've treated presentations and interviews this way ever since.  I truly believe that visualising something going well effects the outcome - again, another quote, 'Whether you think you can or you can't - you're absolutely right'.  I've taken this way of thinking and applied it to bigger things in my life.  Instead of thinking that I'd be an emotional wreck if I moved away from my home town and that I wouldn't be happy somewhere completely new, I've been imagining myself doing all of these new, scary things and succeeding at doing them. I've thought about what car I might buy next, who I might meet, what my office might look like, how I'd decorate the lounge when I move... you get the idea! I've tried to get myself excited about possible big changes instead of focusing on what might go wrong.  The only thing that's been holding me back is those silly little thoughts that I wouldn't be able to cope. That's the thing about thoughts - you get so used to having them that you begin to genuinely believe what they're telling you. It takes a bit of time and a few baby-steps to turn it around, but it's possible to get there.  Of course, I'm not saying that because I've visualised it all going swimmingly well that absolutely nothing will go wrong or that I'll 100% love it if I end up moving - but positive thinking is the first step to doing things outside of your comfort zone and it gives you the boost you need to actually give things a go. Again, back to the title of this post - you have to ask yourself 'what would I do if I weren't afraid?'

So it's all well and good saying that you're going to attempt to change things, but actually changing things is another story.  Personally, for me, it's all about keeping an open mind in order to spread my wings and find the job that I feel is right for me.  This post isn't me announcing that I'm hopping on a jet plane to the other side of the world  - so please don't ridicule me if I don't end up moving miles away ;) I might end up staying close to home if it's for the right job. My ultimate goal has always been to be happy, healthy, and living the life I've been imagining since I quit my job and started Uni 3 years ago. Whether that means staying where I am or moving away half way across the world to achieve this - Who knows - that's the beauty of it.  I don't know what's going to happen but for once in my life I'm actually considering other options, seeking things further afield and lifting that barrier I've always had in my head - that's exactly what I wanted to achieve when I started this whole process. I was approached by a company in Switzerland a few weeks back and immediately applied - whereas before, I'd have written it straight off without a second thought, I actually went for it.  I still don't know where I am in the application process but simply just applying was a step in the right direction for me. I've spoken to companies dotted around the UK... some in Europe... I even made steps to connect with a few over in the US.  I finally feel as if I've addressed that last little niggle that's been holding me back for years and after a lot of self-motivation and a bit of a reality-check, I'm excited to see what the future holds. I have no idea what's going to happen, and that's fine with me. It's good to feel a little bit 'thrown in at the deep end' at times, right?

Phew. Have you recovered from all the motivational cliches and cringe-worthy quotes being thrown at you yet?! I guess this post has been more of a 'diary' entry for me - I have no idea where on earth I was going with it but I just wanted to let you in on what's been happening in my life - it's also something I can look back at in years to come and remember this weird, awkward stage of my life by.  I like to think that if any of you can relate to this in any way that you'll take something from it - even if it's just something as simple as applying for a job you'd convinced yourself you weren't good enough to apply for...or accepting a university place you were scared to take... even something as silly as asking that stud-muffin with the nice stubble who you happen to work with out for a beverage or approaching your boss about something you've been worried about...publishing that blog post you've been umming and arring about sharing for months. I guess what I'm trying to say is that this can apply to anything in life - relationships, life goals, interviews, exams, blogging...the list is endless. Throw caution to the wind once in a while, ask yourself what you'd do if fear wasn't an issue and do it - you might just surprise yourself. If not, well, I hope you enjoyed my little ramble and at least had a good ol' giggle at how bloomin' reflective one person can be! And with that, I'm off to pin some more motivational life quotes on Pinterest... (if you fancy following me and share in my quote-obsession, feel free to hop on over to my profile here)

Lots of Love x

Life Rambles | Finishing Uni, Ends of Eras & Blogging

Source

Oh hello there. I think it's time to address the elephant in the room. I haven't blogged in nearly 2 weeks. I'm aware that some of you are probably sitting there rolling your eyeballs and muttering 'fsssh...who cares?' but in all honesty, I haven't gone a week without blogging since I first starting typing away my life on Bird's Words 3 years ago and to me - it's felt like a long time to be out of the loop. When you've been blogging a while, and when you've always had some sort of 'routine' with your uploading schedule, 10 days or so without even thinking about uploading a post or taking a single photograph feels rather strange. Top that off with the fact I've had to seriously drop my amount of blogging time the past few months and it really has felt like massive step back from my little hobby - but it's one that I realise I needed. I've had a lot on my plate these past few months - and although blogging is indeed an amazing escape if you've been feeling a little less than chipper, i also think it can be quite refreshing to just take your mind off it now and again. I shall say now that I have no idea where on earth I'm going with this post - it's not at all planned and it's more of a spur of the moment ramble (typical Beth) - but I guess I just wanted to keep you all up to date with why I've been so hit and miss with the ol' blogging regime of late.

I think it's fair to say I'm at a crucial stage of my life right now.  I've officially finished my degree course and aside from dotting a few i's and crossing a few t's, I'm pretty much done and dusted and am preparing myself for a shed load of job interviews and some serious job searching (wish me luck...) It doesn't seem like 5 minutes ago I was typing about my decision to make a change and go to uni after being unhappy in my old job for quite some time. Although uni has been stressful at times, it is without a doubt the best decision I ever made and it has completely changed me as a person. I've always been very ambitious - and when I realised that my old path in life offered me nothing in terms of job satisfaction or room to carve any form of career, I decided to make the jump. I started Bird's Words at the start of my little journey and it's really nice to look back on my old posts and realise how much my life has changed in the space of 3 years.  You don't really think about it at the time, but whenever you hit that 'publish' button, you're almost creating an online diary without even trying. I've gone through some cruddy things the past couple of years - and at times I've even had people suggest that I quit uni and restart again once I've got myself back on track. Well, I certainly stuck two fingers up to that! I realised just quite how strong I can be - and I found that pouring myself completely into my work actually helped me through a lot.

So, whilst I'm currently a complete busy bee trying to set things up for my next step in life, I'm also trying to enjoy the last little dregs of student life and I'm making the most of an end of an era. Saying this, I've realised I'm completely useless when it comes to 'ends of eras'.  Seriously, I turn into an emotional wreck. Some people deal with change amazingly well but I find it rather difficult - I get attached to people and places very easily and I often feel sad about leaving things behind rather than thinking about what fabulous new experiences lie ahead of me. I get quite overwhelmed when I have no idea what's going to happen next (i hate uncertainty) and I also find myself getting sentimental over silly, insignificant things.  I kid you not, I shed a tear when I served my last customer at my old job - who even does that?! I remember thinking 'this is the last time I'm ever going to sit and have a cup of tea in the tea room', 'this is the last time I'm ever going to open the till', 'this is the last time I'm ever going to turn the lights out in the stockroom'.... It legit felt like the last episode of Friends when I handed in my locker key for the last time, let me tell you! How ridiculous?! Surely it's not just me who gets like this when something comes to an end? (no? just me then...) I'm currently going through the same motions now as I pack away my things but i'm determined to grasp every last little ounce of enjoyment out of it because it's something I'm never going to get back again. I'm not a complete emotional numpty though - I'm also excited about finally finding myself a job that I can (hopefully) say that I love and I'm planning on saving the pennies so that I can actually manage to afford a little place of my own (and maybe a nice new car to go with it but let's not get ahead of ourselves...) Who knows, I'm even setting my job searching further afield (despite being the biggest home bird ever) as I quite like the idea of starting afresh. Wipe the slate clean, as they say! 

Before I became a student, I used to think 'how hard can it be' - but I can honestly say it's one of the most challenging things I've ever done yet also one of the most rewarding. I find out the results of my degree on the 17th of this month and that date cannot come quick enough for me.  When I first started my final year, I set myself a little mission to achieve a 'first'. It began as a fleeting thought but gradually, I became quite obsessed with it (I needed something to focus on what with things going on behind the scenes so it became almost like an escape for me) - I've been working like a complete trooper for the past few months. I've had people say 'why are you so bothered? you'll find a job anyway...' but if you're like me, you'll understand.  If you say you're going to do something - you do it. And you do it well.  I'm so excited to finally find out what I've managed to achieve - the thought that I've invested so much time and work in my own future is a feeling that I cannot describe and when it's something you never thought you'd do (I never planned to go to uni), that feeling is even more exaggerated. So - fear not, I'll be back to my beauty blogging ways shortly and I'm certainly not quitting Bird's Words-ing (a few of you have emailed me after noticing - I never knew I was so predictable with my posts!)  I just want to thank you all for being so supportive the past few months - there's a few of you that really have kept me going and although i haven't been as 'full on' on the blogging front, I've still been reading all of your comments and trying my utmost to be as sociable as possible (a challenge in itself - those of you in uni will know how easy it is to become some sort of hermit...) I do apologise for this somewhat boring post - I know that not everyone wants to read about people's lives and not everyone is as nosey as me, but be reassured that I have a heap of products ready and waiting to be written about - in fact, my 'to be photographed' pile is getting ridiculously high - I look like I'm trying to build an escape route in my bedroom... I'm also planning on doing some holiday/summery related posts over the next few months so keep your eyes peeled for those! All that's left to say really is stick with me - there's no way I'm going to drift away from the blogging community no matter how hectic life gets.

Is anyone else like me when it comes to the 'end of an era'? If any of you have also just finished university - I wish you all the best :)

University - To Go or Not To Go | Tips & Advice

Image | found via Pinterest [edited]

If you've been reading my blog for a while, you'll be aware that I sometimes go off on one and throw a bit of a random non-beauty post into the mix. This, my friends, is one of those posts.  Spur of the moment n' all that.  I really wanted to put my two pennies worth into the whole 'uni vs not going to uni' thing - it's a discussion I've had many a time and I've seen the positives and negatives of both sides of the coin.  I'll be coming at this from more of a 'creative subject' angle (I study Graphic Design) so this post probably won't be relevant to everybody - but I'm sure there will be little hints and bitesize chunks of advice you can take away from this and apply to any subject. Of couse, nobody's situation is the same and so my experience might not be relatable in the slightest - either way, I hope there's some form of helpful hint in here you can take away if you're coming up to making the whole 'shall i/shan't i' decision...

Is uni right for me? Some people know exactly what they want to do in life straight from the get go. Good on them, eh? Sadly, I wasn't one of these people. I was always a good all-rounder at school and I always worked hard but I never really knew what I wanted to go into for a career. I'd always been creative ever since I first picked up a colouring crayon but I was never one to kid myself.  I knew I wasn't going to be able to sit in a merry little studio all day, painting pretty pictures and drinking cups of tea whilst nibbling away at a pack of McVities HobNobs from 9-5 (I know for a fact other creative people have had this daydream when at school...) When I finished college (where, suprise suprise, I took Fine Art...), I was the only person out of my whole course who wasn't progressing to university.  When everyone else was putting together portfolios, I was sorting out a new contract at work and ordering a new work shirt. I felt as if I'd gone as far as I could go, I'd had my fun and it was time to move on from the happy little bubble called education.  I was just being realistic - after all, I'm sure if you're similar to me that you've often sat there and wondered how the flippin'eck you make a career out of simply being good at creative stuff? I didn't want to go to uni, study for 4 years and come away with a bar job and one heck of a lot of debt in my hands. I knew for a fact uni wasn't right for me at the time. And when I look back now I'm so glad I didn't go as soon as the end of college rolled round.

Yes, I missed out on the whole 'going out' scene because whenever my friends were out on the tiles I was, quite frankly, too bloody tired to do anything aside from scramble into a hoodie and pyjamas after I'd finished my shift.  I grew apart from a lot of my friends simply because I was working all the time and they got fed up of asking me to go out and I noticed over time that I'd developed a completely new outlook on life compared to them. Not going to uni allowed me to grow so much as a person over the next 3 years and it was the best decision I ever made.  I think you know deep down whether or not you want to go to uni - 'gut instinct' is a very powerful thing.  Luckily, my family have never ever forced me into believing I need a degree to get anywhere in life so I never had conflicting opinions from them.  I guess my only advice to you would be to just do what feels right for at the time.  Don't give in to tutors trying to encourage you to apply for uni (and my goodness did I get a lot of that...), don't give in to friends trying to persuade you to follow a similar path to them and just think about what is best for you. If, like me, you aren't sure whether the subject you're taking will provide you with decent career options, it's maybe time to have a little think about whether or not all that time and money is worth it. There is nothing wrong with plodding along in a job for a while.  You can always apply later down the line when you've had time to re-consider your options. On the other hand, it could turn out to be one of the best things you ever did but I think my main piece of advice is not to get caught up in the 'going to uni hype'. Seriously take some time to consider pros and cons and think about what you're actually going to do once you get that degree (sadly, all those cheap Jagerbombs and amazing nights out you don't remember add up to sod all once reality rolls around...)

Choosing a subject. Don't take a subject for the sake of it - it's a lot of work (despite what your first year might fool you into believing!) and you'll be spending a lot of late nights working on deadlines and all the boring bits inbetween. If you're umming and arring over a subject, then maybe you aren't completely ready to go to uni just yet.  At the same time, I can't really talk... I applied to uni on a complete whim at the age of 21. I'd been unhappy at work for over a year (it's only when I look back i realise how deeply unhappy and unfulfilled I really was), and one day I just completely cracked.  I'd had enough of customers speaking to me like I was a few sandwiches short of a picnic and I wanted out. Straight away.  I was completely done with sales and retail and I'd began to realise it was nothing more than a short term option for me. After having a particularly heated 'discussion' with an irate customer I came home, grabbed the phone and asked for a prospectus from the two nearest universities to me and that was that.  I saw 'Graphic Design' and knew I had to apply.  I'd always had it in the back of mind from being at school - I'd just never considered it properly before now.  It was the perfect choice - it was creative, it was something I could make a career from and it was something I knew I'd enjoy learning about. Choose something that not only you enjoy doing and something you'll be engaged with, but something that you know you can make a future from. Listen to your instincts and don't opt for something 'just because'.

Choosing a uni. This is the next biggie isn't it? For me, I wasn't bothered about the whole going out every night and getting hammered 'life experience' aspect - I just wanted a new focus in life and a new career option so I knew for a fact I didn't want to go to a 'big' uni where I knew there would be emphasis placed on getting as drunk as you possily can every single weekend of your life. I didn't want to move from home as I wanted to keep my job part-time and earn at the same time as studying. This narrowed it down straight away and it was an easy choice to make.  My course is actually done at a college - but it's validated and split between the uni in my area.  Don't throw out the option of a smaller uni or HE course at a college simply because they might not look as good on paper. If, like me, you really don't want to be going out every night of your life and spending all your dollar on alcohol (i'm aware I'm probably in the minority here ;)) - it's worth considering. I also know for a fact I wouldn't have gotten half the opportunites i've had from going to a smaller uni than I would have done going to one of the 'biggies'.  The experience is much more personal and I have a lot to thank my tutor for as he's gotten to know me personally and none of us are 'just a number'.  I managed to secure a work placement within my first year - something I probably wouldn't have done if I'd gone to a bigger uni.  At the same time though, you have to consider the facilities might be better at a more well-known uni.  Again, you just have to weigh up the pros and the cons for what you want to gain out of it.

Funding. The big worry everyone must have, surely? I know I certainly did! I never considered uni until I was 21, so to be honest, I didn't know how it all worked and I was completely clueless when it came to student loans and grants and whatnot.  After earning a decent(ish) full-time wage for quite some time, this was the element that nearly killed off going to uni for me.  I spent many an evening in Costa working out how I was going to survive on a student loan, spreadsheet in hand. Now, I'm aware I sound over-dramatic here - I'm lucky enough to be able to live at home so it was never the fact that I might not have a roof over my head or food to eat.  BUT, if you've spent some time working your arse off, you'll know what I mean when I say you become accustomed to a certain amount of money each month! Of course, my disposable income at this time was so unrealistic (totally took that for granted) but I felt so scared when I looked at the difference in what I'd have to live off each month compared to what I was used to.  I look back now and think I was being absolutely effing ridiculous, but there's no doubt that funding yourself is a massive factor in going to uni.   However, when you actually look into how it all works, it really isn't as scary as you think and you learn to live within your means. Funding has gone up since I applied, but don't let that put you off.  When you think about it in the long-term then it's all relative and paying it back isn't as scary as you might believe.  A student loan is the best loan you will ever have.  Don't be scared to invest a little in your future!  There are also lots of places you can go to for advice when it comes to funding - make sure you ask about extra little helpers such as bursaries or anything else you might be entitled to depending on your situation.  Spend some time reading up on it all and do your research. The more you look into it, the more do-able you might find it becomes. Also, apply as early as you can.  The process isn't fun in the slightest and filling in those forms isn't a quick job!

Part-Time Jobs. Which brings me onto my next point. To work, or not to work.  Personally, I preferred to work - it was like my little safety net to my 'old' life!  I worked Saturdays and Sundays right up until the start of my second year when I dropped it down to one day a week.  It's always good to earn a little bit of extra cash if you can - stretch the loan even further and have more in the bank to treat youself (believe me, you'll feel the need to treat youself after every assignment...)  It's also good to work whilst you're at uni to maintain some sort of connection with the world outside of your happy little 'education' bubble.  It keeps the mind focused (and when you have a bad day at the office it can only propel you on to work harder towards your future new job prospects, right?!)  However, PRIORITISE. Yes, it's nice to have extra money coming in but as soon as it's having a knock on effect - consider re-jigging things.  I ended up quitting my part-time job in my second year (my course is only 3 years) as it was all getting too much to balance.  I'm lucky that I was able to do this as I have no idea how I would manage a job in my final year.  I know some people that do and I take my hats off to them.  Another important point to make is to make sure you keep in check with your bank accounts.  Believe me, I know the overwhelming fear of clicking onto your online banking when it's been a while since your last loan installment but try not to let it get to that stage.  Luckily, I'd been saving all the time I was working so I've always had my 'rainy day' fund should I ever need it and it's made student loans and managing money so much easier for me. Make sure you put some money aside if you're working - it lessens the blow slightly if you feel as if you have to leave your employment due to course commitments as you'll have some money to go on should you ever make a little slip up when it comes to your finances.

So there we have it - a few tips and advice for choosing whether or not to go to uni and little things to consider once you've decided.  Don't let anyone tell you that getting a degree is the be all and end all - because it's not.  I know many people who have made a success of themselves without one and I have no doubt I would have found another path if I hadn't decided to go to uni. It was just the right decision for me to make at the time and it's since proven to be one of the best ones I ever made - but if I'd done it any earlier I can tell you I wouldn't be typing the same thing now. Sometimes the best decisions are those that aren't planned in the slightest. Don't be afraid to step outside the comfort zone of your 'perfect plan' and just do whatever feels right at the time.  I have no regrets that I decided to go into the world of work before I went to uni at all - and I don't feel as if I 'missed out' in any way shape or form.  But i guess this all depends on what type of person you are. I think the main thing is not to get hung up on the 'hype' and not to obsess over the decisions you make - it doesn't matter if you get something slightly wrong or feel as if you've been following the wrong path for a while - just go with the flow and almost always, things turn out just the way they were meant to be. And with that, I shall be off before I reel off any more Pinterest-y sayings or gushy 'whatever will be will be' quotes...

Have you written a similar post? Let me know!