I think it's fair to say I'm at a crucial stage of my life right now. I've officially finished my degree course and aside from dotting a few i's and crossing a few t's, I'm pretty much done and dusted and am preparing myself for a shed load of job interviews and some serious job searching (wish me luck...) It doesn't seem like 5 minutes ago I was typing about my decision to make a change and go to uni after being unhappy in my old job for quite some time. Although uni has been stressful at times, it is without a doubt the best decision I ever made and it has completely changed me as a person. I've always been very ambitious - and when I realised that my old path in life offered me nothing in terms of job satisfaction or room to carve any form of career, I decided to make the jump. I started Bird's Words at the start of my little journey and it's really nice to look back on my old posts and realise how much my life has changed in the space of 3 years. You don't really think about it at the time, but whenever you hit that 'publish' button, you're almost creating an online diary without even trying. I've gone through some cruddy things the past couple of years - and at times I've even had people suggest that I quit uni and restart again once I've got myself back on track. Well, I certainly stuck two fingers up to that! I realised just quite how strong I can be - and I found that pouring myself completely into my work actually helped me through a lot.
So, whilst I'm currently a complete busy bee trying to set things up for my next step in life, I'm also trying to enjoy the last little dregs of student life and I'm making the most of an end of an era. Saying this, I've realised I'm completely useless when it comes to 'ends of eras'. Seriously, I turn into an emotional wreck. Some people deal with change amazingly well but I find it rather difficult - I get attached to people and places very easily and I often feel sad about leaving things behind rather than thinking about what fabulous new experiences lie ahead of me. I get quite overwhelmed when I have no idea what's going to happen next (i hate uncertainty) and I also find myself getting sentimental over silly, insignificant things. I kid you not, I shed a tear when I served my last customer at my old job - who even does that?! I remember thinking 'this is the last time I'm ever going to sit and have a cup of tea in the tea room', 'this is the last time I'm ever going to open the till', 'this is the last time I'm ever going to turn the lights out in the stockroom'.... It legit felt like the last episode of Friends when I handed in my locker key for the last time, let me tell you! How ridiculous?! Surely it's not just me who gets like this when something comes to an end? (no? just me then...) I'm currently going through the same motions now as I pack away my things but i'm determined to grasp every last little ounce of enjoyment out of it because it's something I'm never going to get back again. I'm not a complete emotional numpty though - I'm also excited about finally finding myself a job that I can (hopefully) say that I love and I'm planning on saving the pennies so that I can actually manage to afford a little place of my own (and maybe a nice new car to go with it but let's not get ahead of ourselves...) Who knows, I'm even setting my job searching further afield (despite being the biggest home bird ever) as I quite like the idea of starting afresh. Wipe the slate clean, as they say!
Before I became a student, I used to think 'how hard can it be' - but I can honestly say it's one of the most challenging things I've ever done yet also one of the most rewarding. I find out the results of my degree on the 17th of this month and that date cannot come quick enough for me. When I first started my final year, I set myself a little mission to achieve a 'first'. It began as a fleeting thought but gradually, I became quite obsessed with it (I needed something to focus on what with things going on behind the scenes so it became almost like an escape for me) - I've been working like a complete trooper for the past few months. I've had people say 'why are you so bothered? you'll find a job anyway...' but if you're like me, you'll understand. If you say you're going to do something - you do it. And you do it well. I'm so excited to finally find out what I've managed to achieve - the thought that I've invested so much time and work in my own future is a feeling that I cannot describe and when it's something you never thought you'd do (I never planned to go to uni), that feeling is even more exaggerated. So - fear not, I'll be back to my beauty blogging ways shortly and I'm certainly not quitting Bird's Words-ing (a few of you have emailed me after noticing - I never knew I was so predictable with my posts!) I just want to thank you all for being so supportive the past few months - there's a few of you that really have kept me going and although i haven't been as 'full on' on the blogging front, I've still been reading all of your comments and trying my utmost to be as sociable as possible (a challenge in itself - those of you in uni will know how easy it is to become some sort of hermit...) I do apologise for this somewhat boring post - I know that not everyone wants to read about people's lives and not everyone is as nosey as me, but be reassured that I have a heap of products ready and waiting to be written about - in fact, my 'to be photographed' pile is getting ridiculously high - I look like I'm trying to build an escape route in my bedroom... I'm also planning on doing some holiday/summery related posts over the next few months so keep your eyes peeled for those! All that's left to say really is stick with me - there's no way I'm going to drift away from the blogging community no matter how hectic life gets.
Is anyone else like me when it comes to the 'end of an era'? If any of you have also just finished university - I wish you all the best :)